


I Will Find You

by Natural_Selexion



Category: Columbine - Fandom, Eric Harris - Fandom
Genre: Columbine, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25966783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natural_Selexion/pseuds/Natural_Selexion
Summary: Another one for all my fellow crazies out there!As always, you see the characters and tags. No need to comment telling me how stupid I am. It will be a waste of time(:
Relationships: Eric Harris/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

March 29th 1997

“Shhh Morgan stop laughing we are gonna get caught!” I whisper as quietly as my drunk self will let me.  
“We are gonna get caught anyways when your shit head little brother tells on us tomorrow” she laughs out as I quickly push the window open and fall down onto the basement floor scaring the hell out of my little brother and his spend the night friend.  
“What the hell Y/n!” my little brother Seth calls out loudly as he jumps up and throws his Sega Genesis controller down and jumps off the couch glaring at us.  
“Dude shut the hell up!” I hiss out as I help my friend down from the window and into the basement.  
“Oh, You guys are drunk aren’t you?” he asks while pointing his finger at us.  
“Very” Morgan says as she pushes her skirt down to cover herself.  
“And you are going to keep your mouth shut about it aren’t you? Or I’ll beat the hell out of you and your little friend here” I say as I walk towards my brother and poke my finger into his nose.  
“My name is Eric” his friend says and I turn my head to look at him and see a small smirk on his face.  
“You think this is funny Eric?” I ask as I kick my shoes off and take my brothers spot on the couch.  
“No, you are not staying down here. Take your drunk friend and go to your own room” Seth says while looking down at me with a horrible look on his face.  
“Well this is not your room either. It’s common ground. So I can be here just like you can. Plus, If we got up now they will know for sure we snuck out” I say, and Morgan follows suit by kicking her shoes off and throwing herself down into the nearby recliner.  
“She can stay, you go away” Seth says back trying to stand his ground which causes me to laugh loudly.   
“Sooo intimidating baby brother” I say while holding my hands up dramatically.  
“You two stop. Seth, what other 15 year old boys do you know that are hanging out with two 17 year old girls alone in a basement on a Saturday night?” Morgan chimes in.  
“One girl. That is not a girl. It’s my sister” he replies while pointing my way.  
“I’m not your sister” She says while wiggling her eyebrows at him.  
“Do you really have to flirt with my little brother everytime we come home drunk?” I say as I shake my head at her.  
“I’m not complaining” Seth shoots back not taking his eyes off my friend.  
“Gag” I say back as I shoot her a look.  
“So you guys are Seniors?” Eric asks directing it towards me.  
“Mhmm” I reply as I study his face carefully.  
“What’s that like?” he asks and the small smile starts to spread over his face again.  
“Is this you trying to flirt with me right now?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.  
He quickly turns his head away and I watch his cheeks turn a slight shade of pink.  
“Don’t get all embarrassed. I was just trying to make sure we were on the same page here” I say not letting my eyes leave his face. I don’t think I have ever seen this friend before. I feel like I would remember him. He’s a little preppy for my taste but he has a strong jaw line. I kinda hope this one sticks around so I can see how he develops.  
“Oh shit I’m way more drunk than I thought I was” I say out loud as I shake my head to try to clear it.  
“Yeah I would say so. Are you letting my friend flirt with you? And not ripping his head off?” Seth asks and I notice that he has sat down on the opposite end of the couch closest to Morgan.  
“Maybe” I say back and shrug my shoulders causing both boys eyes to go wide and Morgan to burst into laughter.  
“Seth teach me how to play this” Morgan says as she slides down into the floor and grabs one of the controllers.  
“Uhh alright” he says as he goes and sits beside her and I can’t help but laugh at his awkwardness.  
Once they are settled into a game I look over and catch Eric eyeing me. I tilt my head as I look back and him and then pat the couch closer to me.  
I don’t even have time to think about what just happened before he is right next to me on the couch.  
“I’ll be 16 in a little over a week” he blurts out as soon as he has settled in next to me.  
“Ya don’t say” I laugh out causing his eyebrows to furrow as he turns his head away from me.  
“I mean, that’s cool” I say trying to stop myself from being the complete bitch that I usually am.  
He nods his head up and down as he slowly turns it back my way.  
“You get embarrassed pretty easy huh?” I ask trying to loosen him up.  
“Oh, you noticed that. I’m not really used to hanging out with chicks like this I guess” he responds.  
“You’ve never hung out with a girl before Eric?” I ask knowing deep down that I should probably go up to my room and leave this poor boy alone but what fun would that be?  
“Not outside of school like this” he says back and I see the embarrassment forming on his face once again.  
“Calm down sweet boy, I won’t bite” I say with a small laugh as he shoots his eyes back my way holding steady to mine this time.  
“Sweet boy?” he asks with what appears to be a snarl on his lips.  
“Woah, easy killer. It just kinda came out” I reply as I break the eye contact because I start to feel embarrassed myself and that is definitely a new development.  
“Killer I can handle. Yeah I like that one” he says and I can see him smiling out of the corner of my eye.  
“Killer it is then” I say back as I let my eyes wander back to my friend in the floor with my little brother.  
“Uhh you two. Separate please!” I say loudly to get their attention.  
“Y/n please go away” Seth says back as I watch my friend reach over and rub his hand with hers.  
“Mo! What the hell!” I say to my friend who glances up at me for a split second while shrugging her shoulders before her attention goes back to Seth.  
“You have got to be kidding me” I say before I stand up and walk to the basement door and slowly open it to go out and smoke.  
I sit down on the curb and pull out my pack of cigarettes and light one up but before I can even inhale I hear someone behind me.  
“Can I get one?” Eric says as he walks up and sits beside me.  
“You are too young to be smoking” I reply.  
“So are you” he says back with a big smile on his face.  
“Touche” I say as I hand him a cigarette and my lighter. He turns his arm awkwardly and it takes him forever to get the thing lit and I can only imagine the look on my face says it all.  
“First time?” I laugh out as he inhales and starts to cough.  
“Shh” I say while I hold my hand over his mouth causing his eyes to go huge as he looks at me.  
When the coughing fit finally ends he puts the cigarette out and hands it back to me.  
“That’s fucking nasty” he says with a disgusted look on his face.  
“I didn’t force it on you dude” I say as I put the cigarette back inside my pack.  
“Now I know” he says as the smile comes back onto his lips.  
“Your friend is kissing your brother” he says as his smile gets bigger.  
“Son of a bitch. I’m gonna have to kill her if she breaks his heart” I say before taking the last hit off my cigarette and throwing it into the yard.  
“What? You guys hate each other” he says looking confused.  
“Doesn’t matter. He’s still my baby bro” I say as I start to stand up to go back inside and break them up.  
“Don’t leave yet” he says and it catches me off guard when he grabs onto my wrist pulling on it for me to sit back down. I end up giving in and letting him pull me down closer to him.  
“Listen, Just because that’s happening in there doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same with you” I say trying not to hurt his feelings.  
I watch his face as he squints his eyebrows at me and lets go of my wrist.  
“Don’t get me wrong though, You are super cute for a almost 16 year old” I say.  
“Don’t act like you are that much older than me” he replies with a huff.  
“I’ll be 18 in less than 2 months. So technically I am” I say back.  
“Yeah in 2 months. Not right now though” he replies and it startles me at how blunt he is being all of a sudden.  
“Did you grow balls in the last few minutes?” I ask with a laugh.  
“Maybe so” he says back as he eyes me.  
“So Killer, If you have never hung out with a girl before than you have never kissed one huh?” I ask more teasing him to break the weirdness but as soon as it leaves my lips I know exactly how he took it.  
“Wanna be my first?” he asks looking over at me excitedly.  
And I would be lying if I said it didn’t make my heart start to flip around in my chest.  
“Oh sweet boy, I would devour you” I say letting my eyes lower to his lips and I watch his tongue dart out and slide across them.  
“I would let you” he says back almost sounding shy again as he turns his head to the side looking out into the yard.  
The street light in the distance casts the perfect amount of light across his face and my hand moves on its own up to his cheek and I let my finger slowly trace his jawline. He doesn’t move but I can tell by his body language that he is internally freaking out.

“Well Killer, What are you waiting for?” I ask surprising even myself.  
He shoots his head my way looking at me for a split second before his mouth comes crashing down onto mine. What I expected to be a sweet awkward first kiss is something completely other than that as he pries my lips apart with his tongue and starts to explore my mouth. I instinctively let my hand go up to the side of his face and as soon as I do both of his hands go to my waist as he holds me into him. When he finally pulls away I’m left breathless and in shock.  
“There is not way that was your first kiss” I say once I gain my composure.  
“Caught me” he says with a smile.  
“Oh that was shitty!” I say with a laugh as I shove him away from me.  
“What? The kiss or me lying about it?” he says with a weird look on his face.  
“Uhh definitely not the kiss” I reply and I feel my own cheeks start to burn.  
“Good to know” he says as he tries to lean back into me but I put my hand up to stop him.  
“We can’t really go any further than this, you know that right?” I let him know and hate myself for it because I really liked kissing him.  
“Not that I was even thinking that, but why not?” he asks looking confused.  
“Because in 2 months it will be against the law. Plus I’m about to graduate and go to college and stuff, I don’t really want to be dating a high school junior when I’m in college. Also, You are super preppy and I’m so not.” I say as I move further away from him trying to create space.  
“Who said anything about dating?” he asks catching me off guard.  
“Well shit” I laugh out as he gives me a serious look.  
“People hook up all the time who aren’t dating” he says back.  
“We are not hooking up tonight Eric” I say shaking my head at him.  
“Fine. Can I at least kiss you some more though?” he asks with the cutest pout I have ever seen.  
“As long as you know it isn’t going any further than that” I reply and before I can finish the last word his lips are back on mine with the same intensity as the first time. I lose all concept of time or anything around me as the kiss turns more passionate and he pushes me down onto my back on the cold concrete ground and comes down on top of me never breaking the kiss.  
“We should stop” I breathe out as I put my hands on his chest pushing him back.  
“Don’t act like you don’t feel it to” he says into my ear before he lowers his head and plants a soft kiss on my neck making me spring into action.  
“Nope!” I yell out as I shove him off of me and stand up.  
“Really? Nothing?” he asks as he looks up at me from the ground.  
“No I for sure feel something but it can’t happen Eric. I’m sorry” I say and mean it.  
“When I’m 18 then. I’m coming to find you” he says looking at me dead seriously.  
“Yeah okay” I laugh out.  
“You only like the thought of me right now. Just wait until you get an actual girlfriend” I say while I reach down extending my hand to him and he takes it and lets me pull him off the ground.  
“You’ll see” he replies as we walk back inside the house together to find my friend and my brother making out on the ground.  
“She doesn’t seem to mind” he says as he elbows me in the side.  
“Obviously. And I’m not her. Morgan stop molesting my brother!” I yell out causing them to separate.

Shortly after, Seth and I had managed to find enough pillows and blankets to make a huge pallet in the floor and He put a movie on for us to fall asleep watching.  
I set an alarm on the digital clock so that me and Morgan could get upstairs before my parents wake up and we all made ourselves comfortable on the floor.  
It doesn’t take long for Seth to start snoring and I can see from beside me that Morgan is also fast asleep.  
I lean up slowly on my elbows and look to the other side of Seth and see Eric laid on his back with his hands behind his head staring at the ceiling. He catches me looking at him and smiles over at me with a questioning look on his face. Against my better judgement I motion him over with my head and he immediately jumps up and comes to lay down beside me.  
“What were you thinking about?” I ask when he is settled next to me in the floor on his side facing me.  
“I can’t tell you that” he laughs out and I feel my eyes get big.  
“Yeah that’s probably for the best” I reply and force myself to look away from him.  
“I will find you” he says making me look back at him.  
“If you do I promise to devour you” I say back as I bite my lip.  
“It’s gonna be hard to fall asleep with a boner” he says looking at me seriously and I cover my mouth with my hands trying to quiet my laughter.  
“Glad you get amusement out of my agony” he says making me laugh harder.  
“You won’t have to look too far to find me if you keep hanging around that weirdo” I say talking about my brother.  
“You staying here after graduation?” he asks looking surprised.  
“Yep. Community college for me” I reply and see his eyes light up.  
“That means I have all kinds of time to make you change your mind” he says with a hopeful look on his face.  
“Not gonna happen. I intend on steering very clear of you for the next two years. Sorry Killer” I say as his face falls.  
“That’s mean” he replies.  
“Not mean. Just necessary” I say back and feel myself getting pulled into sleep.  
“So you are saying you can’t resist me?” he asks trying to pull me out of sleep.  
“Go to sleep sweet boy” I reply and try to hide my smile with the covers.  
“Can I have a goodnight kiss?” he asks and I can feel him moving closer to me.  
“Absolutely not” I say with a laugh as I roll over and face the other way and fall fast asleep.


	2. I Watched A Change In You

May 17th 1997

“Girl you are gonna have to use your legs and walk. I’m so glad your parents aren’t home right now” Morgan says as I lean on her while she tries to get me inside my house.  
“It’s my birrrrfday bitch” I yell out drunkenly as she swings my front door open and I fall inside.  
“Not this shit again” Seth says as he comes my way and pulls me up off the floor and I stand up holding onto his shoulders and look behind him to see the living room full of underage teenage boys.  
“God damn, am I dreaming?” I laugh out as Morgan once again takes over and helps me up the stairs and into my bedroom.  
“Pass out Y/n. I have to go” she says as she drops me down onto my bed.  
“Don’t leave me” I whine out while reaching for her.  
“I love you so very much but I need to get laid and the person that can do that for me is patiently waiting in my car, remember?” she asks as she covers me up and tucks me in.  
“Yeah I get that I guess” I pout at her.  
“Don’t pout at me. You could have pulled any guy at that party but instead you got super wasted” she laughs out before kissing my forehead and disappearing out of my room.  
I snuggle into my bed and close my eyes hoping to pass out before the room starts spinning.  
“Hey” I hear from my doorway and I move the covers down so I can see who it is even though I know immediately.  
“Hey Killer” I reply sloppily.  
“I just wanted to say happy birthday” he says without coming into my room.  
“I didn’t tell you happy birthday” I reply even though I know I should end this encounter before it starts.  
“That’s okay” he replies as he stares back at me.  
“Come here Eric” my mouth says before I can stop it and he takes a step towards me before I hold my hand up.  
“No wait don’t” I say causing him to freeze.  
“So which is it that you would like me to do? Stay or go?” he asks and I can see the smirk form on his lips.  
“What I want and what I should do are two very different things right now. And I’m drunk so you should probably go” I respond and as I do I pull my pants off under my covers and get comfortable again.  
“You tell me to leave as you take your pants off?” he says as he takes a few steps towards my bed and I reach out and grab his hand pulling him to me.  
“So you want me to stay after all?” he says as he sits on the edge of my bed.  
“I already said that. But you shouldn’t stay” I reply as I try to focus my eyes on him.  
“You know I want to though” he replies as his hand comes down to the side of my face.  
“Eric go find a girlfriend. Please” I plead with him needing him to listen.  
“I don’t want to Y/n” he replies and my hand instinctively moves up to cover his on my face.  
“I need you to” I say as I pull his hand away from me.  
“You think about me?” he asks with a smile.  
“Don’t ask me things while I’m drunk” I reply as I pull the covers back up around my face.  
“Seems like that may be the best time” he says teasing me.  
“Go back downstairs Eric” I say knowing that I have to get him away from me.  
“Is that really what you want?” he asks and I can hear the hurt in his voice.  
“You have to sweet boy” I reply as I close my eyes and drift off into a drunken sleep.

The next day I waited for everyone to leave before I headed downstairs. I was sat at the kitchen table eating cereal when Seth came down.  
“Eric is obsessed with you” is the first thing he says to me.  
“I know” I reply honestly as I continue eating.  
“Do you like him?” he asks sounding shocked.  
“I can’t like him Seth” I say while I drop my spoon in my bowl and take it to the kitchen.  
“Not for 2 more years anyways” he replies and I smile over at him.  
“You shouldn’t worry about it little bro, it will never happen” I respond with my best fake smile before heading back upstairs to shower.

Weeks went by and I did my best to avoid Eric. If he came over I would either leave or lock myself away in my bedroom.  
It seemed like he finally got the hint and quit approaching me which sucked but was for the best at the same time.  
Morgan and I rented an apartment right after graduation and I didn’t have to worry about running into him and being put into an awkward position anymore.  
She had her every weekend hook ups and one night stands and I turned into a saint. I knew it was so stupid but I just couldn’t find interest in any of the guys that I talked to. Sure there were the two one nighters but other than that I just wasn’t into it.   
We were out drinking one night and it dawned on me that it was April 9th. I told myself as soon as I got home I would send him a message on AOL and tell him happy birthday. Terrible idea but I couldn’t stop myself.  
As soon as we were home I went straight to our shared computer and logged on.

Y/n: Happy birthday Killer

He wasn’t online but I knew he would see it.  
“I don’t care how much you deny it, you have a thing for that kid” Morgan says and startles me because I didn’t know she was looking over my shoulder.  
“I really fucking do Mo. And I have no idea why” I reply feeling like an idiot.  
“Then go do something about it! Who gives a fuck” she says with a laugh.  
“I can’t do that” I reply wishing she wouldn’t encourage me.  
“If you say so, nobody knows about my indescretions” she says with a smile as she sits down on the couch and pulls her shoes off.  
“I do” I say back shaking my head at her.  
“Not all of them” she replies with a laugh as she stands and heads towards her room and I quickly stand and follow her.  
“What exactly are you talking about?” I ask before she can close her door.  
“Ask your brother” she says wiggling her eyebrows at me.  
“Oh my god you bitch. You didn’t! I told you if you hurt him I would end you!” I yell out in a panic.  
“Hurt him? He’s the one that ended our shit when he got that little girlfriend” she laughs out making me exhale loudly.  
“You corrupted my brother” I state before she slams the door in my face.  
I walk into my room trying to get the mental image out of my head and take my shoes and clothes off changing into my pajamas. As soon as I lay down in bed I remember that I didn’t log off the computer and I get back up and head into the living room to see the chat window still opened and he has replied.  
RebDomine: 364 more days

I sit there staring at the screen and I feel the smile form on my face.  
Y/n: Counting down are we?  
RebDomine: for over a year now  
Y/n: What are you doing Eric?  
RebDomine: not a thing. Can I come over? (:  
Y/n: No you cannot.  
RebDomine: It was worth a shot ):  
Y/n: Eric  
RebDomine: hmm  
Y/n: Go get a girlfriend.  
RebDomine: I don’t want to  
Y/n: Then go get laid  
RebDomine: but you said I couldn’t come over  
Y/n: Hahaha   
RebDomine: always laughing at my agony Y/n  
Y/n: It was a funny response  
RebDomine: what are you doing awake so late on a Thursday night?  
Y/n: Currently talking to you.  
RebDomine: then what?  
Y/n: I’m going to crawl into my bed.  
RebDomine: that sounds nice. What will you be wearing?  
Y/n: Nice try  
RebDomine: Oh come on. Give me something   
Y/n: I will.  
RebDomine: ???????  
Y/n: In 364 more days (:

I quickly signed off before he could respond. I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I crawled into bed and snuggled in for the night. Would it really be so wrong if all we did was talk and hang out for a few months? Yeah. It would. Because I’m not sure either of us would be capable of that for long. He has made it very clear what he wants from me and I have no idea why. But I obviously feel the same way. Maybe we can come to some kind of agreement to meet in the middle..  
I drift off to sleep before I can put much more thought into it.

When I wake the next morning I have a clearer head and know that I should leave him alone and let him live his life. He shouldn’t be so hung up on me and wasting the best years of his life when I can’t give him what he wants.  
So I decide right then and there that I won’t initiate anymore conversations with him.

A few weeks go by and I’m at my parents house doing laundry when I hear Seth come in with some friends. I start to panic momentarily until they walk into the kitchen and I realize Eric isn’t there.  
“Stop looking so scared. Eric has a new crush now that he is obsessing over so I’m sure you are a thing of the past” Seth says with a laugh and I feel a weird ache in my chest.  
“Oh shit, You almost look upset sis, here have your pick of my other friends” Seth laughs out and I shoot him a glare and push past him to get out of the room.  
“I volunteer” I hear one of them say.  
“You have a volunteer Y/n!” Seth yells out after me but I’m already halfway up the stairs heading towards my old bedroom.  
Fuck! I can’t understand why I feel this way. He did exactly what I told him to do. I know it is for the best but it still stings like a son of a bitch.

In late August Morgan comes in from class and I’m surprised when she blurts out  
“I talked to Seth earlier”  
“Uhh okay” I respond.  
“He is throwing a party at your parents house before school starts back. Thought we may want to make a appearance” she says smiling at me sweetly.  
“I don’t care” I respond as I keep reading over my notes I have for a test next week.  
“You don’t care as in we can go?” she asks with raised eyebrows.  
“Sure, why not, not like I have anything else going on” I reply not caring one way or the other.  
“Well the party is tomorrow” she adds making me look up from my notebook.  
“Mo I said I don’t care. It’s fine” I reply snapping at her.  
“Y/n I swear to god if you don’t snap out of it” she says back as she walks to sit beside me.  
“I’m sorry” I reply while sitting my notebook down on the coffee table.  
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me” I reply trying to smooth things over.  
“Don’t give me that. We both know what’s wrong with you” she says with a laugh.

The next evening I drive us over to my parents and as soon as I turn on the road I see cars lining the road.  
“Jesus! Does Seth even know this many people?” I say as I find a place to park.  
“You know how it goes. People hear about a party and they show up regardless” Morgan laughs out as we get out and walk in.  
“My parents are gonna murder him” I say shaking my head as we walk into the house and I find my extremely drunk brother telling stories in the living room.  
“Oh there she is now! I was telling them about the time you snuck in the basement window drunk and scared me to death” he laughs out with blood shot eyes.  
“Good lord Seth it’s barely dark outside” I say as I make my way to him.  
“Don’t come in here trying to act like mom. Go get drunk” he says as he turns me towards the kitchen and gives me a push.  
“Absofuckinglutely” I say as I walk into the kitchen and grab a red plastic cup from the counter.  
“Hey that’s a good one. I might steal it” I hear from the other side of the kitchen and I look up to see Eric grinning at me and the very tall boy next to him gives me a weird wave.  
“What the hell happened to you?” I ask as I look him over from top to bottom. His hair is longer than I remember and he has it almost spikey looking. He has on black baggy pants and a band shirt.  
“What do you mean?” he asks as he comes my way and I go back to making my drink hoping to cut this short.  
“You don’t look shit like you used to” I reply not looking at him.  
“You look exactly the same” he responds as he leans in closer to me.  
“Well most people don’t change that much in a year” I say back as I finish making my drink and try to move around him to get out of the kitchen.  
“It’s been over a year, Hey why are you avoiding me?” he says as he blocks my path.  
“The same reason I always avoid you” I reply still refusing to look up at him.  
“You usually aren’t a bitch about it though” he says catching me off guard and I finally meet his eyes.  
“I would hate to go to jail for having to beat your girlfriends ass when she jumps on me for knocking your teeth out” I snarl up at him.  
“Woah, girlfriend? And Jesus Y/n why so violent?” he says looking down at me confused as the tall one watching us laughs loudly.  
“Shut up Dylan” Eric calls over his shoulder having no effect but more laughter.  
“You started it by calling me a bitch” I reply not breaking eye contact with him.  
“Yeah I don’t even care about that part. Who said I have a girlfriend?” he says with seriousness written all over his face.  
“Seth said you were crushing on someone so you wouldn’t be bothering me anymore” I reply and I hear how desperate it sounds as soon as it comes out.  
“Well according to how pissed off you seem then I would have to guess that you didn’t like that very much?” he says leaning in closer to me so only I can hear it.  
“Shut up” I say as I glare up at him and we have a stare off for what seems like forever when I hear someone clear their throat from behind us.  
“Should I leave the room?” his friend asks looking out of place.  
“Nah, I’ll go” I say finally pushing past Eric and walking back into the living room. I sit down in one of the chairs and start to chug down my drink as I listen to my brother and his friends swap stupid stories.  
Morgan comes and sits on the arm of my chair and looks down at me.  
“You good? We can go” she says while squeezing my arm.  
“I’m all good” I say as Eric and his friend walk into the room and we immediately lock eyes.  
“Alright then. Want another drink while I’m in the kitchen?” she asks while she stands up.  
“Yes please” I say as I push my cup her way and look away from him.  
We play the back and forth game for a while of one catching the other looking and after so long I couldn’t help but crack a smile.  
He raises an eyebrow looking at me and I stand and head his way as I feel the alcohol rush to my brain.  
“Is there a problem?” he says as I reach him.  
“Yes there is. We need to talk” I say as I grab him by his shirt and pull him with me.  
“Okay you can let go I’m following you” he says from behind me once we hit the stairs and I let go of my grip on his shirt.  
When we get to the hallway I turn to him and put my hands on my hips.  
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks looking confused and I dart at him. Pushing him against the hallway wall our mouths collide together and his hands immediately come up to both sides of my face as he holds onto me.  
I take the lead pushing my tongue past his lips and he opens them letting me gain access. As the kiss deepens I moan out into his mouth at the sensations I’m feeling while finally kissing him again.  
“Don’t fucking do that” he says as he moves his mouth away from mine but doesn’t let go of my face.  
“Kiss you?” I ask confused by his statement.  
“Fuck no. Never stop doing that again. Don’t moan at me like that. I can’t have you. That shit is just cruel” he says before he brings his lips back to mine and we both fall right back into the kiss.  
“Can we go in there?” he asks breaking the kiss again and guesturing towards my old room.  
“That’s a terrible idea” I reply as I pull him with me into the room and close the door.  
“I’m glad I suggested it then” he says with a smile as I pull him down with me on the bed.  
“So what’s happening here?” he asks looking down at me for guidance.  
“Fucking nothing damnit” I say as I cover my face with my hands.  
“That’s about what I figured” he says back before rolling onto his side facing me.  
“So what now?” he asks after several minutes of silence.  
“I don’t know I’m trying to think” I reply while shaking my head.  
“What are we thinking about?” he says back and I move my hands to look at him.  
“If your cute self would really be worth doing jail time over” I finally respond.  
“I highly doubt you would do jail time Y/n. I’ll be 18 in 8 months” he says as he watches my face.  
“Eric I can’t do it. I can’t risk getting caught” I say as I sit up on the bed.  
“That’s fine. Just let me kiss you some more. Then we both can anticipate 8 months from now” he says as he rolls back on top of me and finds my lips again.  
This time I know instantly that I have fucked up when I open my legs and he comes down between them and grabs onto my thigh with one hand.  
I try to protest but he keeps me in the kiss and presses against me and I can feel his hardness through his pants.  
My heart starts to race at the realization of how he is making me feel in this moment while we are both fully clothed. I can only imagine that the real thing will be explosive.  
He moves his mouth away from mine and nudges my head to the side with his nose before coming down and planting open mouthed kisses on my neck. My hips start to buck up to him and before I even realize it he moans out softly into my neck.  
“Eric we have to stop” I almost whisper but I can’t bring myself to push him away.  
“Do we really though?” he breathes out into my ear making chill bumps spring up all over my body.  
“Yes babe we really have to” I say as I push him off of me.  
“Babe?” he asks while adjusting himself in his pants.  
“Yeah that just kinda came out of nowhere” I reply while I try to calm my heart.  
“I’m not complaining. Well not about that anyways. What the hell am I supposed to do about this?” he asks as he points at the bulge in his pants.  
“I don’t have any solid advice for that. I’m sorry” I reply while shrugging my shoulders at him.  
“I mean I have some ideas” he says as he tries to come back at me.  
“No! Down boy!” I laugh out as I jump off the bed.  
“Y/n, giving me blue balls for 2 years now” he says while shaking his head.  
“Okay there’s only two times that could have legitamitely been my fault now” I say while trying not to laugh at his obvious discomfort.  
“You’re right. The other times I finish myself off while thinking about you” he says with a smirk as he stands up to join me.  
“Jesus Eric. Some things you shouldn’t say out loud” I say as I cover my mouth to hide my smile.  
“Eh, fuck it” he says while grabbing my hips to pull me to him.  
“You have changed so much” I say as I lift my hand to run my finger down his jaw bone.  
“Is that a bad thing?” he asks while looking down at me.  
“Not a bit” I reply before leaning up to place a peck on his lips.


	3. Rebel rebel, Party Party

I fell asleep that night with Morgan laying next to me in my old bed. When I woke up the next morning she was gone. I sat up adjusting my eyes and looking around and right as I do the bedroom door opens and Morgan comes creeping in.  
“Where the hell were you?” I ask causing her to jump.  
“Shit I didn’t think you would be awake. Uhh I went to the bathroom” she responds and I don’t believe her for a second.  
“So my brothers room?” I ask shaking my head in disgust.  
“Actually no. Although there was some girl walking out of there the same time I came out of the other room” she says as her eyes go wide and she covers her mouth.  
“Morgan who the hell?” I ask as I sit up on the edge of the bed and pull my shoes on.  
“So you remember that one guy, the tall one that was kinda just lurking around all night?” she says causing me to jerk my head up at her.  
“Eric’s friend? Oh god Morgan he can’t be 18” I say as I face palm.  
“Well obviously I don’t care about that. But what I didn’t realize until it was over is that it was his first time. I’m kinda developing a pattern here” she says as she smiles to herself.  
“I can’t remember why we are friends right now” I reply as I stand up and walk out of the room and head towards the bathroom.  
When I open the door to walk out of the bathroom I collide with one of the tallest guys I have ever encountered.  
“Oh fuck my bad” he says as he holds his hands out to steady me. When I look up I realize it’s Dylan.  
I can’t find the right words to say in the moment so I just shake my head at him and move around to walk downstairs.  
When I make it to the living room I look over on the couch and see Eric curled up in a ball with a blanket pulled tight around him.  
I look around and make sure no one else is near before I tip toe over and lean down and kiss him lightly on the cheek. When I turn to walk away he reaches out and grabs my arm pulling me back to him.  
“I thought you were asleep” I laugh out feeling embarrassed about it.  
“I’m a light sleeper” he says back as he pulls me down next to him on the couch.  
“Lay with me” he says trying to force me down and into his arms.  
“Nu uh, Someone might see us” I say while trying to pull away from him.  
“Why do you care so much. Your friend has already screwed two of mine that I know of” he says with a smile on his lips.  
“She has lost her fucking mind” I reply shaking my head at him.  
“Why can’t we just lay together? It doesn’t have to be anything more than that” he says and the words sound so sweet and innocent coming out of his mouth but his eyes tell a completely different story.  
“Because we have to have boundaries Eric” I say as I smile down at him.  
“You don’t trust me?” he asks pulling a hurt face.  
“I don’t have a answer for that” I respond and try to stand up but he wraps his arms around my waist holding me down.  
“Let me prove it to you” he says as I try to fight him off with no luck.  
“How the hell are you so strong” I laugh out as I lose the fight.  
“Come on. Let’s go back up there and lay down. It’s early. Your parents won’t be home until tonight. Let’s take a nap together” he says convincing me so easily with his silver tongue.

I stand up off of the couch and reach down for his hand and pull him up.  
“Don’t make me regret this little boy” I say with a laugh as we head up the stairs.  
“Little boy, sweet boy, quit that shit Y/n” he says from behind me causing me to look back at him and smile.  
“What would you prefer?” I ask as we round the top of the stairs.  
“Something that doesn’t make me sound like an infant. Go back to Babe” he says as we walk down the hall.  
“That was a slip up. You can be babe in 8 more months” I laugh out while I open the bedroom door.  
“Nahh in 8 months I will be Ooohhh Goooddd Eric” he moans out dramatically causing me to choke on my own spit.  
“I’m so glad I just witnessed that” Morgan says as she sits up in the bed.  
“Oh shit I forgot you were here” I say while covering my face.  
“I can leave” she replies as she looks back and forth between the two of us with a huge smile on her face.  
“Yes please” Eric responds as he motions towards the door.  
“I guess I can go find your friend again” she says with an evil smile as she leaves the room.  
“You are awful Mo” I say as I shake my head and close the door behind her.  
“Anyways back to what I was saying” Eric says before reaching out to pull me into him.  
“Nope. No more talking about that” I respond as I dodge his lips coming my way and pull away from him to lay down on the bed.  
“That’s not going to be possible” he says as he lays down next to me and I turn to lay my head on his arm.  
“Then this will never work. I will have to go back to ignoring you” I say teasing him.  
“Please don’t do that” he shoots out as he jerks his face down to look at me.  
“Then you better stop” I say smiling up at him.  
He shakes his head and I grab his arm and roll over with my back to him pulling him into me.  
“Are you fucking for real right now” he breathes out into my ear causing me to laugh.  
“You said you wanted to hold me while we napped. So shut up and hold me” I say as I snuggle into him.  
“Y/n stop moving like that please god” he hisses out and I can’t help but laugh.  
“It’s okay Eric, It’s completely natural” I say as I feel him getting hard against me.  
“The natural part is being able to do something about it. I think you enjoy teasing me. Is this some kind of game to you?” he says and I can hear the seriousness in his tone as he pulls away from me.  
“No Eric! I would never mess with you like that. If you can’t tell by now that I really like you then..” I say but before I can finish he wraps his arm back around me tight.  
“I just wanted to hear you admit that” he laughs out into my ear.  
“You are something fucking else” I reply in utter shock at how he is able to manipulate me.  
“but you like me” he says while squeezing me into him tighter.  
“Alright that’s enough of that. I need you to back up” I say while trying to scoot away from him but he lets go of my waist with one hand and brings it up to my neck.  
“Aww what’s wrong Y/n? Can’t take it when the position changes and you are the one all worked up?” he laughs out and I can feel my eyes grow huge as he pushes his hardness against me making it more obvious.  
“You are losing my trust by the second” I say while reaching up and taking his hand off of me.  
“I was playing with you woman. Calm down” he replies and he goes back to being the sweet boy I just so happened to fall into deep like with.  
“Eric are you crazy?” I ask while he settles back in behind me.  
“Absofuckinglutely” he says and I can hear the smile.

After that morning we went right back to how we were with me avoiding him and him taking the hint and moving on. I figured it was probably for the best and even went on a few dates myself and actually had a good time. But he was always there, right there in the back of my mind like an incurable disease.  
When Seth called me at the end of December to invite me and Mo to his new years eve party I rejected his offer and made other plans. I didn’t want to mess up anything that Eric may have had going for him.  
So that evening me and Mo got all dressed up and went to our usual spot and waited for the countdown until midnight. The more I drank the more I thought about him even though I tried so hard not to. Morgan must have seen it on my face because she grabbed her purse and stood up.  
“Let’s go crash the high school party” she says as she smiles at me.  
“I can’t Mo. Eric probably has a date with him. That would be extra weird for both of us” I say as she continues pulling me off of my stool and picking my purse up.  
“Only one way to find out” she says as she pulls me out of the bar and to her car.  
“Luckily for you, I’m a good friend and stayed sober because I may have actually had this planned the whole time” she laughs out as we get inside her car and she heads off on the short drive to my parents house.  
When we pull up my pulse instantly quickens and when I open the door and walk inside I see several familiar faces and everything seems to stand still as I search the room and my eyes land on Eric who is sitting on the couch with his arm draped over the back with a pretty blonde girl sitting next to him. Dylan immediately stands and comes towards us and smiles down at me as he wraps his arms around Mo and pulls her into a big hug.  
I can hear my heart beating in my ears and I try so hard to remain calm but when Eric’s eyes land on mine and I see them go wide as his mouth falls open I start to panic.   
“We have to go” I manage to get out of my mouth as I take a step backwards towards the door and then turn and start to quickly walk back to Morgan’s car.  
“Y/n wait!” I hear Morgan call out after me but there is no stopping me. With the alcohol clouding my brain and also making me sick to my stomach, I finally make it to her car and lean down beside it trying to catch my breath.  
“I didn’t know you were coming” I hear from behind me but there isn’t a chance in hell that I can make myself turn around and look at him so I keep kneeling beside the car with my face turned away from him.  
“Are you mad at me?” he asks and it hits me how childish this is.  
“No Eric. You did exactly what I needed you to do. Go back inside” I say with as much composure as I can muster up.  
“Then what’s wrong right now?” he asks and I can hear him coming closer to me.  
“Please go back inside and have a good night” I reply as I stand up and smooth my dress down and reach for the door handle.  
“Can we talk?” he asks as he reaches for my hand and I jerk it away on instinct.  
“Eric whoever she is isn’t going to like you being out here with me. I didn’t mean to mess your night up. I shouldn’t have came” I say turning my back to him once again.  
“Why did you?” he asks from behind me.  
“Because I’m stupid” I reply as I wipe the tears off my face and try to pull myself together.  
“No I want the real answer. Why did you leave where ever you were to come here?” he asks again and I can hear that he has came closer to me.  
“Because in my fucked up mind I wanted to be here with you on New Years eve. I wanted to kiss you when midnight hit and spend the rest of the night acting like we didn’t just spend the last few months not speaking” I reply not daring to look his way.  
“Then that’s what you should do” he says as his hand comes up and lays on my arm.  
“You have a girlfriend” I almost whisper.  
“Not a girlfriend. Just a friend that I sometimes do things with” he says making my heart sink even further to the ground.  
I finally turn around and face him and watch as his mouth falls open when he looks at me.  
“Are you crying Y/n?” he asks and he lets his thumb run down my cheek wiping a tear away.  
“Hey, sorry to interrupt but we are about to count this shit down if you guys want to join!” Seth calls out from the front porch and I hear the chanting start inside the house.  
“10”  
“You should go inside Eric”  
“9”  
He shakes his head no at me.  
“8”  
“Don’t let me ruin your night”  
“7”  
He takes a step closer to me and I watch his face go from serious to smiling.  
“6”  
“5”  
He takes one more step and pulls me into him.  
“4”  
“Eric don’t”  
“3”  
“Try to stop me” he says as he kisses my cheek and I squeeze my eyes closed.  
“2”  
He pulls back slightly and presses his lips to mine.  
“1”  
“HAPPY NEW YEAR” echoes from inside the house as I let my hands go up to the sides of his face holding him into me.  
We stand with our lips pressed together and as the neighbors shoot off fireworks I can see my own personal ones from behind my eyelids.  
When we finally break apart I see the blonde girl storm out of the house and get into a car and speed off.  
“Oh god I’m so sorry” I say as I push him away.  
“If I cared I wouldn’t have done it” he instantly says as he brings his hand to the side of my face.  
“I feel so bad” I respond not making eye contact with him.  
“She wasn’t my girlfriend Y/n. You didn’t do anything wrong” he replies trying to force me to look at him.  
“Calm your ass down and come inside with me so we can pretend we never stopped talking” he says with a smile and I feel my own form on my lips.

January 30th 1999  
It had become something like a habit for me to log on to AOL every night just to ask him about his day and to say hi. When things would start to get more suggestive I would log off and pretend it didn’t happen. He caught on pretty quick and seemed to get bored with it after awhile.  
One friday evening I was home alone and logged on not figuring he would even be there considering it was a weekend night and he was usually out doing things with friends but as soon as I signed on there he was.  
RebDomine: fucking finally  
Y/n: Why are you home?  
RebDomine: I want to see you  
Y/n: Eric we agreed.   
RebDomine: I’m sick of waiting. It’s 3 more months Y/n. Nobody has to know.  
Y/n: As tempting as that sounds we shouldn’t. Like you said only 3 more months.  
RebDomine: This is really starting to piss me off  
Y/n: You could have ended this a long time ago. All you had to do was walk away. So many times.  
RebDomine: Is that what you want Y/n? You want me to go away?   
Y/n: Why are you acting so crazy right now?  
RebDomine: Consider me gone.

I watch as his name disappears from my list and just like that he is gone.  
I can’t really call him without his parents getting suspicious so all I can do is sit and stare at the screen and hope he calms down and comes back.  
After a while I realize that isn’t happening and I go lay in my bed and eventually fall asleep.  
I get woken up in the middle of the night by someone shaking me violently.  
“What the fuck” I yell out as I sit up and focus my eyes.  
“Y/n get up! Dylan and Eric got fucking arrested dude” Morgan yells out in sheer panic.  
“Wait what? Arrested? What the hell could they have gotten arrested for?” I ask as I try to comprehend what she is saying.  
“I don’t really know, Seth was blowing up your phone when I came in so I answered it and he was freaking out about it” she responds as she holds my phone out to me.  
I jump out of bed and grab my phone out of her hand and dial my brother over and over but he doesn’t answer.  
“What the hell do we do?” I ask after several minutes of internally freaking out.  
“We can’t do anything Y/n” she says back and I see the genuine worry on her face and it hits me that maybe she has caught feelings for Eric’s friend.  
I pull her into a hug and we try to calm each other down the best we can. We both eventually fall asleep in my bed together. I wake up sometime the next afternoon and stretch real big before it hits me what happened. I grab my phone off the table beside my bed but there’s nothing. I run to the computer and log on to see a message from Eric.  
RebDomine: I’m so sorry Y/n. I lost my cool. I shouldn’t have treated you like that please don’t hate me.   
RebDomine: Also I may not be on for awhile. I kind of went to jail last night and I’m pretty sure my dad may abort me. If they take my computer please just know that I really like you and I will miss you so much.

I start typing as fast as I can thinking that for some reason if I can send the message then maybe he will see it somehow.

Y/n: I don’t hate you. I’ve been worried all night. I need more info. Find a way to contact me please.

Friday February 12th 1999  
Days went by with still no response. When I couldn’t bare it anymore I decided to take matters into my own hands.  
I pulled myself off my couch and showered and put on jeans and a white t-shirt hoping to blend in as best as possible. I got in my car and made the drive to Columbine high school and as soon as I pulled in all the memories started to flood back from my 4 years in this hell hole.  
I walked in the side door leading into the commons and instantly became overwhelmed by all the kids crowded around tables and standing in the lines.  
I darted my eyes around trying to find anyone that I may recognize and I spot Dylan sitting at a table in the far corner with several other guys. I quickly made my way over to the table and when he spotted me a huge smile appeared on his face.  
“Y/n? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks as he stands and gives me a side hug.  
“Trying to communicate with your friend. Where can I find him without getting spotted by anyone who doesn’t need to know I’m here?” I ask as I look up at him.  
“He has B lunch. That bell will be ringing any second” and just as he says it the loud bell starts to ring.  
“Can I sit with you guys until he comes?” I ask and Dylan immediately pulls a chair up for me. As more kids enter the cafeteria I try my hardest to spot him but there are so many.  
“There he is” Dylan says as he points his long finger towards the stairs and I see Eric walking down them with another guy by his side. They are laughing and I watch as a bigger guy slams his shoulder into Eric and he shoots him the middle finger over his shoulder and keeps walking.  
I feel my heart start to flutter as they make their way towards where we are sitting and when Eric sees me his eyes go wide and he freezes.  
“Am I high?” he asks making me smile at him.  
“What the hell? Come here!” he says as he motions with his hands for me to come to him and I push my chair back and fall into his open arms squeezing him as tight as he is squeezing me.  
“What are you doing here?” he asks into my ear.  
“I needed to see you” I say back as I press my face further into his neck.  
“So she is real?” the guy that was walking with him says as we force ourselves away from each other.  
“I told you she was fucking real” Eric says as he pulls a chair up as close to mine as it will go.  
“When can we talk without anybody else around?” I ask feeling uncomfortable and out of place.  
“Right fucking now. Come on” he says as he pulls me up from the chair and we walk straight out of the side door together.  
“Where are we going?” I ask as he leads the way to his car.  
“Anywhere but here” he reponds as he opens the passenger door for me and I get in. Once he joins me I realize that this is the first time I have ever been inside of his car and I smile as I look around.  
“What?” he asks looking at me with his head tilted to the side.  
“Nothing babe, just drive” I respond and his eyes go wide for a split second before he starts the car and pulls away from the school.  
We agree that for everyone’s safety that we should sit somewhere public so he pulls up to the nearby park and we walk over and sit on top of a picnic table together.  
“Tell me what happened” I say after a few minutes a silence.  
“Lapse of judgment I guess” he responds and shrugs it off.  
“That’s not good enough for me” I reply and I reach over and take his hand in mine and squeeze it a few times trying to urge him on.  
“I don’t know what you want me to say. A fucking dumbass left his van parked in the middle of nowhere and I was in a shit mood. It didn’t take much to make us both on board with it all. We broke in and stole a bunch of shit. Got caught. Spent the night freezing to death in a jail cell. Spent the next few hours getting threatened and shit by my dad. Now I have to go to these stupid classes and do community service for a while. Not to mention all the damn fines” he says as he reaches in his pocket and takes out a pack of camel reds and lights one up.  
“Hold the fuck up, When the hell did you learn how to smoke properly?” I ask as I watch him inhale the smoke deeply. He turns and looks at me with a smile as he exhales before passing it to me.  
“Everything I just said and you remark on my improved smoking skills” he says as he shakes his head at me.  
“I should have just let you come over that night” I respond.  
“I can fucking agree with that statement for sure. But the good news is that my parents are finally lightening up. I get my computer back Friday and they said as long as I don’t miss curfew or anything and I get my fines paid then they are willing to forgive and move on” he says as I pass the cigarette back to him.  
“That’s great fucking news. I’m gonna need you to control your damn anger though Killer” I say as I exhale the smoke.  
“Yeah yeah” he replies as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.  
“Wanna go make out somewhere?” he whispers into my ear causing my blood to warm at least 10 degrees.  
“Yes and no” I reply with a laugh.  
“God damn you and your rules woman” he says as he jumps down off the table and comes to stand in between my knees.  
“Do you realize how fucking long 2 years is when it’s waiting for something like this?” he asks as he lets his hands run up both sides of my legs and stops at the top of my thighs.  
“You didn’t technically wait Eric” I reply and he turns his heads looking at me confused.  
“You said you did things” I say making quotation marks with my fingers.  
“Ahh.. Yeah. Some things. Not many things though” he says trying to clarify without causing either of us too much distress.  
“Is that so?” I ask feeling actual shock at what he just said.  
“I would not lie about that. I promise. I can give you details if you want to Hear them” he says and I cut him off.  
“No thanks” I say as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me.  
“You gonna let me kiss you in public?” he asks as he brushes his lips against mine.  
I respond by pulling him down to me and pressing my lips against his. He breathes out loudly before he pulls me to the edge of the table lining us up and pressing against me.  
“Nuh uh” I manage to get out but he isn’t stopping.  
“Eric for real” I breathe out as I push him back some.  
“Just let me touch you please” he says as his hands start to move up on my thighs again and I hear a sigh escape my lips that I didn’t even know was coming.  
“Not much longer now babe” I breathe out as his lips come down onto my neck and I lean it to the side giving in if only for a second.  
“Let’s just go to your apartment, nobody has to know Y/n” he says into my ear before he takes my earlobe between his lips and tugs down gently.  
“Oh god I don’t know how much longer I can tell you no” I say as I feel my body start to react to him.  
“Then stop telling me no Y/n” he whispers into my ear and I know right then that I have to stop this.  
I put my hands on his chest and firmly push him away causing him to take a step backwards.  
“Nooo I almost had you” he whines out as he pulls a face at me.  
“I will gladly admit that you are completely right about that” I laugh out as I jump down off the table.  
“56 days” he says causing me to laugh.  
“See, so close” I respond as we walk back to his car.  
“When can I see you again?” he asks as he pulls up to drop me off at my car.  
I smile over at him knowing that what I’m about to say is either going to piss him off or have quite the opposite effect. I decide how to word it for a second before I start to speak.  
“The next time I see you I promise I won’t tell you no or try to stop you” I say as I lean over towards him and put my hand on his cheek.  
“Even if I ask to come to your apartment?” he asks not quite catching on yet.  
“Mhm” I say as I nod my head and bite my lip at him.  
“Oh fuck. Let me guess. 56 days?” he asks and I lean in and plant a kiss on his lips before I reach for the door handle.  
“Mhm” I reply with a laugh.  
“Jokes on you, I’ve made it this long. 56 days ain’t shit!” he yells out his window as I get in my car and he speeds out of the parking lot leaving me a smiling idiot.


	4. Your Awkward Is Showing, But Everything Is Cool.

When my classes ended for the day on that following Friday I went straight home and logged on even though I knew he wouldn’t be home from school yet. I clicked on his name and left the chat box opened as I showered and put my comfy clothes on.  
By 6 that evening he still hadn’t been on and I started to wonder if maybe his parents changed their minds.  
I left the living room and went into the kitchen to make a sandwich and just as I was finishing I heard the notification go off and I all but ran to the computer.

RebDomine: miss me?  
Y/n: I’m not going to admit that I’ve been signed on waiting for you for hours. I won’t.  
RebDomine: oh yeah? I guess you missed me then (:  
RebDomine: I had to go to counseling and shit. I can’t wait for this shit to be over. It’s only a few more weeks though.  
Y/n: You better not fuck up again.  
RebDomine: then you should probably not tell me no next time I ask to come over. Want to test it out?  
Y/n: fuck you Eric.  
RebDomine: 52 days (:  
Y/n: If you were here right now I would totally slap the shit out of you.  
RebDomine: give me the address and I will gladly let you.  
Y/n: Damnit. I want to so bad.  
RebDomine: for real? I was playing but I will head that way  
Y/n: Maybe I could come to you..  
RebDomine: Don’t fuck with me right now Y/n  
Y/n: I wasn’t. but now I know I probably shouldn’t have said that.  
RebDomine: Nope. You bring your little sweet ass to me. Now!  
Y/n: Your parents would shit.  
RebDomine: nahh. I may have already said something about you.  
Y/n: Something?  
RebDomine: Some things.  
Y/n: That makes me so nervous Eric.  
RebDomine: You shouldn’t be at all. My mom actually was the coolest about it which shocked me. Dad is probably just jealous that he couldn’t pull a older chick at my age hehehe  
Y/n: you really want me to come there?  
RebDomine: Like I said. Don’t fuck with me.  
Y/n: Let me get dressed. Give me like 30 minutes.  
RebDomine: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quickly signed off and ran back to my room and threw on my jeans with a hoodie and took off out the door.  
This is a bad idea. This will probably end horribly. But I want to see him. So consequences be damned at the moment.

Before long I was pulling into his driveway and he came barreling out onto the porch to meet me.  
“Is this real life right now?” he calls out with a huge smile on his face.  
“Don’t make me regret this fucker” I reply as I walk up the steps and into his arms.  
“Come say hi” he says as he drags me by my hand into the house and I feel instant regret.  
“Mom!” he yells out as he slams the door behind us and pulls me into the kitchen.  
“This is y/n” he says smiling like an idiot as he pulls me towards her.  
“Hello Y/n, nice to finally meet you, you are Seth’s sister right?” she asks as she holds her hand out for me to shake and all I can do is nod my head.  
As we shake hands I can’t help but wonder what she is thinking right now. That her son spent many nights sleeping over at our house and that I was probably stealing his innocence the whole time?  
“Relax honey it’s okay” she says as she drops my hand and goes back to washing dishes.  
I look over at Eric and the smile on his face makes my stomach quiver.  
“We are gonna go downstairs if that’s okay” he says as he waits for her to respond. She looks over her shoulder at us and smiles sweetly before nodding her head.  
He leads me down the stairs into his basement and down a short hall into his room, closing the door behind us.  
“Maybe you should leave that open” I say motioning towards the door nervously.  
“Chill out hot stuff. She doesn’t care. And they always knock” he adds as he walks over to his bed and pats the spot next to him for me to sit down.  
“Hot stuff?” I ask as I sit next to him.  
“I decided to try out some nicknames on you since you seem to like using them so much on me” he says while smiling over at me.  
“Stop looking at me like that” I say as I turn my head away from him.  
“Oh I’m gonna sit here and stare at you all night. I can’t believe you came to my fucking house” he replies with no shame.  
“I honestly can’t either” I say back shaking my head.  
He stands up and walks over to the cd player and pushes play and I recognize the song playing from the car ride Monday.  
“Who is this?” I ask as he walks back to the bed.  
“KMFDM. I know, you’ve never heard of them” he says rolling his eyes.  
“Honestly no I haven’t. Maybe I should check them out” I reply finally making eye contact with him.  
“You should” he says nodding his head up and down.  
“So listen, I’m gonna need you to drop this awkward shit. Everything is cool here. I’m not forcing anything on you. I know the rules by now. Just hang out with me” he says catching me off guard.  
“Is my awkward showing that much?” I laugh out trying to loosen myself up.  
“It is” he laughs back.

I finally start to feel okay with this as we sit on his bed together and he plays me some of his favorite songs and we talk about things that we haven’t really had the chance to talk about.  
“But enough of that. You know I love you right?” he says almost making me fall backwards off the bed.  
“You do not love me Eric” I say back.  
“I think I might though” he says as he reaches over and grabs my hand in his.  
“You don’t know me well enough to love me” I reply in complete shock.  
“I don’t know you? Almost 2 years and I don’t know you Y/n?” he asks but the smile on his lips tells me that he is not upset at all about what I’m saying.  
“It’s fine. You don’t have to say it back. Even though I know you love me to” he says with a big ass smile.  
I squint at him and feel my cheeks start to burn but I’m not sure it’s from embarrassment, I couldn’t honestly say why face feels like it’s going to explode into flames.  
I let my eyes search his face and he sits silently watching me and doing the same. My body starts to move on it’s on as I crawl up onto my knees and turn to face him. He gets the hint pretty quickly and follows my lead as I wrap my hand around and hold onto the back of his head bringing him down to my lips.  
It doesn’t take long for the kiss to get heated as he pushes me back down on his bed and comes down on top of me.  
“We can’t” I breathe out as he lowers his mouth to my neck.  
“I’m not” he whispers back as he continues placing kisses up and down my neck. I let my legs fall open wider allowing him to press himself against me and we both let out a soft moan at the same time.  
“Fuck Y/n I want you so bad” he whispers into my ear and I feel the words all over my body.  
He starts to noticeably grind on me and I don’t stop him. I bury my face into his shoulder and hold onto the back of his neck making sure he doesn’t leave.   
“You aren’t stopping me?” he asks as he looks down at me almost confused.  
“We have all of our clothes on right now. Stop talking” I say as I pull his mouth back down to mine and he pushes himself against me harder making me moan out into his mouth.  
“I have to stop” he says as he pushes himself off of me and sits back with red cheeks and panting for air.  
“Woah! There’s a first” I say as I watch the smile spread on his mouth.  
“I’m gonna explode” he says as he stares straight at me.  
“Well, I mean, we are at your house and all” I say as I move my hand motioning at his room.  
“That would be fucking embarrassing. Not to mention pathetic” he says back running his hand through his hair.  
“Fine babe, Keep your blue balls” I laugh out causing him to join in.  
“I’ll take care of that when you are gone. Trust me” he laughs out.  
“Not to add to the situation or anything but, I kinda can’t wait to put you out of your misery” I say as I bite my lip at him.  
“Oh fuck this” he growls out as he comes back at me and pushes my legs apart taking his spot back where he was.  
“Shhh” I laugh out as he goes right back to attacking my neck. He reaches down and grabs my thigh and brings it up as he continues rubbing against me.  
“I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you Y/n. I’ve dealt with 2 years of you teasing me” he growls out into my ear causing my whole body to burn.  
“Not right now your not” I reply hoping he knew that anyways.  
“52 mother fucking days” he says back with a strained voice.  
“Mhmm” I reply and I grab the side of his face and move his head so that I can get to his neck. I kiss up to his earlobe and then bite down on it causing him to dig his fingers into my thigh.  
“Oh fuck” he whispers out and I watch his mouth fall open as he squeezes his eyes closed and drops his head down.  
“I am not a tease. You are just relentless” I say once his breathing starts to go back to normal.  
“I know what I want” he says with a smile as he stands and grabs clothes out of his dresser and walks out of the room.  
When he comes back his cheeks are still red but other than that you would never know what just happened.  
“Why me?” I ask as he lays back down beside me.  
“Because you make me feel different. Like a man. Even with your little nicknames. I’ve loved you since I was 15” he says as he pulls me to him and I lay my head on his chest.  
“You don’t love me Eric. You just have this obsession I think” I reply hoping it doesn’t hurt his feelings.  
“Whatever you say. But you are gonna have a hard time getting rid of me here soon. Call it whatever you want to but I’m tired of not being able to be with you” he says sounding sleepy.  
“See, you get off and now you are going to sleep and are done with me” I say with a laugh.  
“Not true at all” he replies before he kisses the top of my head.  
“I should go” I say as I sit up and look back at him.  
“Now who is done with who” he says looking up at me with a raised eyebrow.  
“The difference here is that I didn’t get off” I say with a laugh but he turns his head to the side looking at me weirdly.  
“Hey what if I suck at all this? What if I can’t make that happen for you” he says sounding like someone completely different.  
“I think we will figure all that out when the time comes” I say down at him but he sits straight up and grabs me pulling me back to sit with him.  
“I’m serious Y/n. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing” he says with squinted eyebrows.  
“I said we will figure it out. What I really meant is that you will figure it out” I say before leaning in and kissing him gently.  
“Walk me to my car?” I ask hoping he won’t make me take the walk of shame alone through his house.  
“I was planning on it. Cuz that little bullshit ass kiss you gave me is not going to get me by until next time I see you” he says as he stands up from his bed and walks with me up the stairs and out to my car.  
“Speaking of, When will I see you. Now that you know my parents are cool with this” he says looking at me expectantly as I lean against my car.  
“I guess we can see each other whenever. But we have to cool this shit down” I say as I smile at him.  
“Why?” he sounds pulling a disgusted look at me.  
“Well, what’s the female equivalent of blue balls?” I say with a serious face.  
“Oh damn, that’s hot” he says as he takes a step towards me.  
“You are awful Eric” I say with a laugh as he wraps his arms around me.  
“Meet you online?” he asks as I hug him back.  
“Of course” I say before pulling my head out of his shoulder and meet his lips with mine.


	5. Almost Made it Happen

Friday March 19th 1999

“No you keep pressing the wrong key woman! You really do suck at this” Eric laughs out as he hovers over me while I sit in his computer chair and he attempts to teach me how to play this weird ass game.  
“I told you I’m not much of a gamer. If it’s not Mario then I’m gonna suck. I’ll beat your ass in Mario though” I laugh back as my character gets ripped apart by some sort of monster.  
When we hear the knock on the door both our heads jerk that way and Eric yells come in.  
“I was just going to see if you two were hungry, I thought about ordering a pizza. Oh Eric you and this game!” his mom says from the doorway making me suck in my lips to hide a laugh.  
“What would you prefer us to be doing mother?” he asks and I suck in a deep breath and slap his arm on impulse.  
“I’m glad she finally got to witness you abusing me, see mom I told you she hits me!” Eric says before dramatically falling down on his bed.  
“I would have slapped you to if I had caught on to what you were saying before right now” she replies as she closes her eyes and shakes her head and I can only imagine she is trying to get the mental image of her little boy doing those things out of her mind.  
“I could eat” I blurt out trying to break up the tension that Eric has created in the room.  
“Oh good, I didn’t want to order food just for myself! I’ll let you know when it gets here” she says before closing the door back.  
“I hate you so much right now” I say and watch Eric start to laugh as he lays out on his bed.  
“You do not” he replies as he sits up.  
“Seriously? Don’t do stuff like that please. You know how I feel about it” I say keeping the most serious look on my face as I can with him smiling like crazy.  
“Chill out. I’m pretty sure she thinks we are already screwing” he says back still shooting me that heart stopping smile.  
“Why would she think that?” I ask in a panic.  
“I don’t know. She asked me the other day if we were being safe” he says making quotation marks with his fingers.  
“And what the hell did you say back?” I ask and I feel like my eyes are going to bulge out of my head.  
“I told her we were being the safest” he says shrugging his shoulders at me.  
I just out of the chair and onto his bed grabbing a pillow and holding it over his face.  
“I’m gonna suffocate you” I say causing him to go right back into hysterical laughter.  
“I caught on to that but thanks for the warning either way” he says before he grabs my waist and throws me down on the bed.  
“Did you really tell her that?” I ask still in pure terror and embarrassment.  
“It’s the truth isn’t it? We are having the safest sex ever. No sex” he laughs out as he lays down beside me propping his cheek on his hand.  
“Eric you made it sound like we were though. And now I have to go eat pizza with her. She probably hates me right now” I say as the realization washes over me.  
“She doesn’t hate you Y/n” he says as he brings his other hand down and runs his thumb over my cheek.  
“Pizza’s here” his mom calls out from the stairs.  
“Oh great” I say as I sit up.  
“Let’s go eat pizza hot stuff” he says wile pulling me up off the bed.  
“You are gonna have to come up with something other than that Eric” I laugh out at the ridiculous nickname he keeps using.  
“Okay okay” he says back as we hit the top of the stairs.

The three of us are sat at the dinner table eating pizza out of the box and I listen as Eric and his mom make small talk back and forth for a while. I feel like she is silently judging me the whole time and it has got my nerves going into over drive. Eric shoots me weird looks every now and then like he is trying to figure out what’s going on in my head and everytime he does I glare back at him for good measure.  
“Y/n you have been coming over for a few Fridays now, I thought maybe you might like to come over for dinner one night this week and meet Eric’s brother” his mom says, addressing me for the first time and catching me completely off guard.  
“We are not having sex” I blurt out causing Eric to choke on his drink and his moms eyes to grow 12 sizes.  
“Oh my god” Eric says out after he catches his breath.  
“I’m so sorry” I say covering my face but also laughing hysterically at the situation I just created for everyone.  
“I can’t believe you just said that” Eric says as he starts to laugh to.  
“I don’t know if I should be embarrassed or happy right now” his mom finally says and I can’t read her face so I once again cover mine with my hands.  
“I just wanted to clear that up. Since Eric said what he said” I reply still completely mortified by it all.  
“Why would you out me like that woman!” Eric says and his mom finally breaks and starts to laugh causing me to join in with her.  
“Oh great” Eric says as he sits in his chair sulking.  
“Can I explain? Or would that be super weird?” I ask his mom not knowing what I’m supposed to do from here.  
She nods her head in response and Eric pushes his chair back from the table forcefully.  
“Nope” he says before barreling back down the stairs.  
“I will give you the short version if that’s okay, Yes we met because of my brother, but we both kind of had a thing for each other way back then. I told him that I wouldn’t date him or anything until he turned 18. Obviously that plan fell through a long time ago but I stuck to the whole.. uhh.. no physical stuff until he turns 18” I say not making eye contact with her.  
“Well I think that’s really good” she responds after a few seconds of weird silence.  
“But honey it’s not like you are a 30 year old woman. You are only 19” she says as she shoots me a grin and it catches me off guard.  
“But still..” I reply.  
“Oh don’t get me wrong! I’m very appreciative of this decision. But that just means that I will know what’s happening for sure in a few weeks” she says and I watch her shake her head again like she is trying to make the picture go away.  
“I’m sorry” I say feeling so weird about it all.  
“Don’t be sorry” she says while smiling sweetly at me again.  
“Is this over yet?” Eric asks as his head pops up between the poles on the banister.  
“Yes” his mom says matter of factly as she stands and starts to clean up our mess.

Once we are both back in his room I die out in laughter at everything that just happened.  
“Feel better now?” Eric asks as he pulls me back down on his bed with him.  
“I wouldn’t say that” I laugh out.  
“There’s no way you are coming to dinner with my dad, Not blurting shit like that out” he says as he starts to laugh with me.  
After the shock is over and the laughter finally stops he scoots down on his bed so that his face is close to mine.  
“I have something to ask you. Since my parents know and all now. We haven’t really been anywhere together and I was wondering if you might come to a party with me tomorrow night? It’s at Dylan’s and my parents will let me spend the night there so I won’t have a curfew or anything” he spills out as he looks at me hopeful.  
“Go public with it huh?” I ask as I smile at him and watch his face soften.  
“Please?” he asks before licking his lips nervously.  
“Are you nervous right now Eric?” I ask as I scoot closer to him.  
“I’m a little nervous that you are gonna say no” he says back being honest.  
“I’m not gonna say no” I reply as I move my face closer to his.  
“Yesssss” he says dragging the word out and closing his eyes in absolute joy.  
“I’m driving my own car though. I’m not spending the night in a house full of high schoolers” I reply with a laugh.  
“Just ride with Morgan” he says and I feel the look on my face change.  
“Oh you didn’t know huh?” he laughs out.  
“What exactly?” I ask with wide eyes.  
“Morgan and Dylan. Like serious as fuck” he says with a big smile.  
“How did I not know this?” I ask still in shock.  
He shrugs his shoulders before he grabs my hips and pulls me into him.  
“Nu uh Eric. We had a deal” I say as I struggle to get away from him.  
“What does it matter now? You convinced my mom we aren’t having sex and she didn’t seem to really mind that much anyways” he says as he pushes me onto my back and comes down on top of me.  
“Easy Killer. It’s not happening. Don’t get yourself all worked up. Or me for that matter” I say as I push him back off of me.  
“These god damn days are dragging by so slow Y/n!” he says sounding so desperate.  
“You do realize there are only 3 weeks left right?” I ask trying to speak calmly because the look on his face is something I’m not used to seeing and it is honestly scaring me a little.  
“Yeah I realize. Do you realize that if I’m not with you at midnight then I’m gonna lose my fucking mind once and for all?” he asks as he shoots me a look.  
“That may not be possible considering you have school that day babe” I say not wanting to add to his agony but also stating facts.  
He closes his eyes and I can tell that he is clenching his jaw. He stands in silence for a few minutes and I don’t dare say anything else right now.  
His face finally starts to relax and he opens his eyes and looks at me.  
“Sorry” he mutters and I lift my eyebrow at him.  
“Doesn’t take much huh?” I say as the realization hits me.  
“I have anger issues if you can’t tell. I try not to let them show with you” he says as I let him pull me back to him.  
I let him bury his face into my neck as he holds me and I run my fingers through his hair.   
“You are gonna put me to sleep” he says sounding exhausted.  
“Then I should go” I reply before pulling away from him.  
“I would protest but I’m tired as hell and I get to see you again tomorrow so” he says before sitting up and pulling his shoes on so he can walk me out.

When I got home I confronted Morgan immediately.  
“When the hell were you gonna tell me that you are officially dating Dylan?” I say as I sling her door open.  
She starts to laugh and I see the phone up to her ear.  
“It just sort of happened” she replies as she puts her hand over the speaker.  
“Dylan says you should stop driving his friend crazy” she says with a laugh as she looks at me.  
“Tell Dylan that his friend was crazy before I ever did anything to him. Not that I have done anything to him. I mean..” I stumble over my words as Morgan laughs loudly and I can only imagine Dylan is to.  
“Fuck you guys” I say as I walk out and slam the door but I can’t stop smiling. I gather my pajamas and go to take a shower but the smile will not go away and I can’t stop thinking about him.  
I lay down in my bed still smiling so much that my cheeks are starting to hurt and then all of a sudden the realization washes over me and I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach.  
He was right.   
I look at the clock on the side of my bed and see that it’s after 11 and I know he said he was exhausted but he may be on.  
I throw my covers back and go into the living room and wait for the computer to boot up.  
When it finally does I log on and look through my friends list but he isn’t on.  
I decide to leave him a message anyways.  
Y/n: You were right Eric. I do love you.  
I let my finger hover over the mouse before I send it but when I feel the flutter in my chest I know it’s true and I click down sending the message.

I slept later than I had intended the next day and when I looked at my clock after waking up I jumped up and walked out into the living room.  
“Finally! I was about to come wake your ass up” Morgan says from the computer desk.  
“I need to use the computer” I say back as I rush towards her.  
“Jesus okay, let me at least say bye!” she says as she types quickly and then moves out of my way.  
I log her out and log myself in but he isn’t there. And no message.  
“What the fuck” I say loudly.  
“Oh shit girl” Morgan says as she leans over my shoulder reading what I had sent.  
“Yep” I rely before I sign off and sigh loudly.  
“He probably just slept in to” she says trying to make light of the situation.  
“Maybe so” I say back shrugging my shoulders.  
“Hey I have a idea for the day, You know how I’ve been wanting to get my tongue pierced for forever? We should go do that” she says excitedly.  
“If that’s what you want to do” I reply still feeling a little hurt.  
“Y/n just call him so we can move on with this day please” she says while putting her hands on her hips.  
“That’s not really our thing” I reply as I walk towards my bedroom.  
“Oh my god just call the boy!” she says as I close the door in her face.  
I pick up my phone and quickly dial the number before I can change my mind. I don’t even know what I will say to him.  
“Hello?” I hear his mom say into the phone.  
“Uhh hey it’s Y/n, Is Eric around?” I ask feeling weird even though I know she doesn’t care anymore.  
“He is apparently sleeping in today” she says with a laugh.  
“Want me to wake him up?” I think about it for a second before I answer.  
“If you don’t mind” I say hoping that she doesn’t.  
I hear her walking and then I hear the door open.  
“Eric, phone” she says and I hear him grunt and stretch loudly.  
“I hope you didn’t forget you have chores to do before you go anywhere” she says and I laugh at how she is lecturing him as soon as he opens his eyes.  
“Moooom” he whines out sounding like a middle schooler being woken up for school.  
“Hello?” he grumbles into the phone.  
“What are you wearing Eric?” I say as seductively as I can.  
“Oh damn, I’m awake” he says sounding more like himself.  
“Good morning” I laugh out into the phone.  
“Good morning wood for sure” he laughs back.  
“It’s actually afternoon though. I was feeling a little neglected” I say as I smile like an idiot.  
“Is that what it takes for you to call me? I guess I should neglect you more” he says pulling out his own seductive voice.  
“You wouldn’t dare Eric Harris” I say challenging him.  
“Ooh I like dares” he says making me laugh.  
“Go check your messages” I say into the phone before I hang up on him.

I give him time to get up and I brush my teeth and get dressed for the day before going to the computer.

RebDomine: Come here  
Y/n: I can’t. Mo wants to go get her tongue pierced.  
RebDomine: Oh god. Please don’t do yours  
Y/n: I wasn’t planning on it. But why not?  
RebDomine: For one I wouldn’t be able to kiss you for forever. And for two I’m not a fan of that shit. Unless it’s like under your clothes like a belly button or something. That could be hot.  
Y/n: I see.  
RebDomine: Wait is your belly button pierced? I’ve never seen your belly button. That’s fucking weird.  
Y/n: hahaha no it’s not! But I haven’t seen yours either.  
RebDomine: That settles it. Tonight I’ll sow you mine if you show me yours (:  
Y/n: You want to see my bellybutton?  
RebDomine: I want to see whatever you are willing to show me  
Y/n: I’ll see you tonight <3  
RebDomine: <3<3<3<3

“Feel better?” Mo asks scaring the shit out of me.  
“Mo! Stop reading shit over my shoulder!” I laugh out as I push her away.  
“You should give that boy some. He has waited forever” she laughs out.  
“20 days” I reply as laugh at myself because apparently now I am counting down the days to.

Morgan and I left our apartment around 5pm and got dinner before we headed to the tattoo shop for her to get pierced.  
She handled it like a pro but as soon as her tongue started to swell and she couldn’t talk properly she had instant regret. We stopped at a store and got her a cup of ice chips and off we went to Dylan’s house.  
When we pulled up there were already cars going up the driveway so we had to park almost at the bottom and walk up. Morgan tried her best to complain but just ended up pissed that I couldn’t understand her which lead to a lot of laughter on my part.  
When we finally made it to the house the front door was wide open and there were high schoolers everywhere already drunk.  
“Did we get drunk this early at parties?” I ask as we push our way into the house.  
“I did” she replies with her swollen tongue.  
“Of course you did” I reply with a laugh.  
When make it into the kitchen I lock eyes with Eric instantly. The gravitational pull brings us together within seconds and he locks his arms around my waist.  
“About time” he says into my ear making me smile.  
“Thought that was never gonna happen?” I hear my brother yell out drunkenly from the other side of the kitchen.  
“You thought very wrong” Eric says back as I snuggle my face into his neck.  
“Stick out your tongue” he says as he pulls away from me so he can see me.  
I shake my head no trying to freak him out.  
“Oh god please no” he says as his face changes to one of concern.  
I quickly stick my tongue out at him like a toddler on the playground and he lets out a sigh of relief.  
“Belly button?” he asks while raising an eyebrow at me and I shrug my shoulders as I pull away from him and Morgan hands me a cup full to the top of some kind of very strong substance.  
“Show me” he says as he watches me drink from the cup.  
“You show me first” I laugh out after I swallow the drink.  
“I asked first” he says back still looking concerned.  
“You didn’t ask, you demanded” I laugh out before taking another long chug.  
He doesn’t say anything else for a few minutes as I chug away at my drink until I get to the bottom of the cup and when I sit it down my head is spinning.  
“Jesus Morgan what did I just drink?” I yell her way where she is leaned against Dylan.  
“Oh that was me. Your welcome” Dylan says with a big smile on his face.  
“Are you drunk baby?” Eric says as a smile forms on his lips.  
“Baby?” I ask while tilting my head at him and taking a step so that I can press myself against him.  
“Oh she likes that one” he whispers into my ear causing my body to react instantly due to the alcohol.  
“Can I see your belly button now?” he asks making me snort.  
“Why do you want to see my bellybutton so bad weirdo?” I laugh out.  
“I want to see if you pierced it” he says now smiling back at me.  
“I didn’t” I reply and then it hits me that I could pull a good one on him right now and in my drunken state it seems like the only logical option.  
“Not my bellybutton” I reply while biting my lip.  
“Then what?” he asks looking shocked and I cut my eyes down to my chest giving him a hint.  
“No fucking way” he says out loudly causing heads to turn our way.  
“I guess you will find out in 20 days” I laugh out not able to keep a straight face anymore.  
Instead of responding he grabs my wrist and pulls me with him out of the kitchen and down a hallways into a room and slams the door behind us.  
“Where are we?” I ask as I look around at the clean kept room.  
“Guest room. Show me” he demands as he comes at me.  
“Nu uh” I reply as I try to defend myself from his attacks.  
“Show me baby” he says now with a smile on his face.  
“That’s breaking too many rules Eric. I didn’t do it” I laugh at him for falling for the joke.  
“Fuck your rules. Let me see” he says still trying to come at me.  
“I said I didn’t do it!” I laugh out as I continue fighting to push his hands off of the bottom of my shirt.  
“I still want to see and I swear to god I’m not above begging at this point” he says as he drops his hands in defeat.  
I weigh out my options for a second as I watch his eager face and wide eyes looking back at me. Fuck my rules.

“Sit down” I say and he instantly sits on the edge of the bed with his hands in his lap.  
I slowly lift my shirt up exposing my belly button and his eyes follow the fabric up my stomach.  
I stop right under my boobs teasing him before I continue up and lift my shirt over my head.  
I toss it at him and bite my lip as his eyes memorize every bit of this.  
“Come here” he says as he reaches out for me.  
“Eric no” I say as I shake my head at him.  
“I swear to you that no more clothes have to come off” he says as I watch his eyes turn hooded and he reaches out for me.  
I take a step towards him and he pulls me into his lap so that I’m straddling him and his mouth instantly goes to my chest placing soft kisses in every spot he can reach before he pulls one of my nipples into his mouth and sucks lightly making my head fall back.  
“We have to stop babe” I moan out not wanting to anymore than he does.  
“Mmmm” he moans out with his mouth still on me and then he flips me over onto my back on the bed and comes down beside me. His lets his hand run down my stomach and before I even realize what is happening it’s sliding under my jeans as he starts to rub me.  
“Eric we really have to stop” I pant out while he palms me through my panties as his eyes burn a whole in the side of my face.  
“Don’t stop me baby, please don’t make me stop” he says as he leans his head in and starts to suck on my neck lightly.  
“I have to” I say as I reach to pull his hand away from me.  
“Nothing more than this I promise” he whispers into my ear and instead of moving his hand I undo my jeans so that he can move better.  
“Fuck” he moans out as his hand slips past my panties and he touches me for the first time. He finds my spot and starts to rub circles around it picking up speed as I grip on to the back of his shirt holding on for dear life.  
“Oh god Eric” I moan out louder than I intended but there was no stopping it as my body starts to tense up.  
As soon as I hit my peak his lowers his hands and pushes a finger inside of me and I grab his wrist digging my nails into it as I ride it out.  
“God damn baby” he says as he smiles into my neck and I button my pants back.  
“Uhh that was all you” I say back trying to steady my heart.  
He hands me my shirt and I pull it back on and run my hands through my hair trying to make it look like I didn’t just do what I did.  
“I don’t think you have anything to be worried about when it comes to sex” I say as I lean down and kiss him on the lips.  
“Oh yeah?” he says with a huge smile on his face.  
“I can’t leave the room right now though” he laughs out as he points to his pants causing me to laugh with him.


	6. Good Boy, Bad Boy, Down Boy

After several minutes of Eric trying to think of the most non sexy things ever, we emerged from the guest room of Dylan’s house and rejoined the party.  
As soon as we were back in the kitchen Morgan walked my way with another drink in hand and shoved it towards me with raised eyebrows.  
“Shut up” I say with a smile as I take the cup from her hand.  
“I would love to say lots of things but” she says and sticks her very swollen tongue halfway out of her mouth causing me to pull a disgusted face at her.  
“Oh god that is nasty looking” Eric says as he walks up behind me.  
“Fanks” Mo says as she walks away causing us both to kill over in laughter.  
“Dylan won’t be having much fun tonight it seems” Eric says as he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder squeezing me into him.  
“You can’t say much either babe” I say with a huge smile that he can’t see.  
“Fuck that. I had all the fun” he says into my ear before he places a single kiss under it.  
“Harris please stop groping my sister in front of me!” Seth yells out followed by laughter.  
“Then get out from in front of me” Eric calls back over my shoulder.  
“Now you know how the shit feels baby bro” I add to the conversation and Morgan throws her hand over her mouth.  
“Ahh sorry about that” I say immediately as Dylan shoots me a look.

As it gets later most everybody starts to leave and it ends up being me, Eric, Dylan, and Mo, along with a few stragglers.  
The four of us sat around the coffee table in the family room playing never have I ever until me and Dylan were both completely shit faced.  
“This isn’t fair! Mo can’t drink and this fucker won’t!” I slur out dramatically.  
“Y/n is my partner in crime tonight. Apologies to the other parties involved” Dylan laughs out before standing up and motioning for me to follow him.  
“Oh god what are you two doing?” Eric says from the floor as he watches us walk out of the room.  
“I don’t have a clue” I reply as I hold onto the wall for support.  
“Dylan your house is unlevel” I say not realizing exactly how wasted I am.  
“You are unlevel” he says back with a laugh as he grabs onto my arm thinking he is going to support me but in reality we just end up leaning into each other weirdly.  
“Hey why am I just now realizing that you are a midget?” he says with a serious face.  
“I am not a midget sasquatch!” I yell back and I hear the laughing from behind us and turn to see both of the other two parties enjoying the show.  
“Are you guys actually trying to go somewhere or?” Eric says as he judges us with his eyes.  
“I don’t even remember why I’m walking right now” I say back.  
“Well my intentions were to take Y/n outside to smoke with me and then I was going to throw her in the pool. But now that I think about it that’s probably a bad idea considering the pool is full of fucking frogs and she would probably drown right now” Dylan says and dies out in laughter.  
“That was so many words right then” I say with wide eyes as I watch him double over in laughter.  
“She would have killed you dude” Eric says as he shakes his head at us.  
“Eric stop acting like a midget could beat me up” Dylan says back with his hands on his hips and I reach over and go to shove him but he grabs my arm and we both end up on the floor laughing hysterically.  
“Somebody is going to puke soon” Eric says as he glances over at Morgan and she nods her head in agreement.  
“Go home?” Morgan manages to get out for me to comprehend.  
“Fuck that! You guys aren’t leaving!” Dylan says as he sits up super fast.  
“Yeah we aren’t leaving!” I yell back teaming back up with Dylan.  
“No?” Morgan says with her head to the side.  
“You gonna stay with me tonight baby?” Eric says as he comes to pull me out of the floor.  
“Fuck yes” I reply once I’m back on my feet.  
“Me next” Dylan says as he reaches his long arm out to Eric.  
“Jesus H Christ” Eric groans out as he pulls his friend up.  
“I need to pass out now” Dylan says as he leans against the counter.  
“Come on” Morgan responds as she wraps his arm around her shoulders and they head up the stairs.  
“Sorry guys, Parties over! Once the host is gone you gotta go to!” Eric yells out making everyone else that was left file out the door.  
Once he closes the door and locks it he turns around smiling at me.  
“I thought you weren’t staying?” he says as I wobble into his arms.  
“I probably shouldn’t but fuck it” I say as I wrap my arms around his neck.  
“That’s the spirit” he replies with a laugh.  
“Take me to the bedroom Eric” I say before leaning up and kissing his neck.  
“For real?” he asks as I feel his body stiffen.  
I nod my head at him and he spins me around and wraps his arms around my waist and walks me to the guest room.  
Once inside the room I pull my pants off and climb into the bed as he watches me from beside the door.  
“What are you waiting for?” I ask while pulling the covers over myself.  
“You are super drunk Y/n” he says as he shakes his head.  
“And? I want you” I reply and prop myself up on my elbows.  
He springs into action and comes onto the bed hovering over me.  
“Say that again” he says inches from my face.  
“I want you Eric” I reply as I bite my lip at him.  
“Uggghh god damnit woman. I can’t make myself do this shit while you are wasted. Why would you do me like this?” he says before rolling off of me and onto his back.  
“No come back! A drunk mouth speaks a sober mind or whatever the fuck they say” I whine out at him.  
“I can’t believe that I have to tell you no right now. Please god stop asking me” he growls out and puts his hands behind his hand as if trying not to touch me.  
“Then let me touch you” I respond as I sit up and reach for the button on his pants.  
“Oh god baby please stop. I don’t have this kind of will power” he pleads with me as he grabs onto my wrist.  
“I can’t believe you are denying me” I pout out at him.  
“Yeah I can’t fucking believe it either” he says while looking over at me.  
“Fine” I say in a huff and roll over with my back to him.  
“Please pass out before I change my mind” he says quietly making me laugh and I reach over and grab his arm and wrap it around me. He scoots closer and I wiggle my ass into him snuggling in.  
“It’s not too late” I reply.  
“Shhh you are getting verrrry sleepy” he says into my ear.

When I open my eyes it takes me a few minutes to adjust to my surroundings. As my brain starts working it all comes flooding back to me and I smile to myself. I can’t believe he didn’t go for it. I sure as shit would have let him right then.  
I roll over and see him laid on his back with his arm over his head fast asleep. I watch him like a creep for a few minutes before my hand starts to move on its own. I lift the bottom of his shirt carefully and undo the button on his pants before I slowly lower the zipper.  
“No baby” he whimpers out grabbing at my hand.  
“No? Really?” I reply as he holds my hand still. He opens his eyes and looks around before he looks back at me.  
“Is it morning?” he asks coming up on his elbows.  
I nod my head as I smile at him.  
“Are you still drunk?” he asks while looking at me strangely.  
I shake my head no as I watch his face.  
“For real?” he asks after a couple of seconds.  
“No babe I’m sober. And you are something fucking else” I say as I smile down at him.  
“What’s happening right now?” he asks while glancing down at my hand still at his zipper.  
“Probably not what you think” I reply and shake his hand lose from mine as I start to rub him through his boxers.  
“Damn” he groans out before laying back down on his back.  
It doesn’t take him long to become fully hard under my hand and when he lets out a sharp breath I pull him out and start to stroke him.  
“Good morning” I say as I watch his face contort.  
“Baaaby” he growls out as I pick up speed and his hips start to buck.  
I watch his face as he clenches his jaw and when I know he is getting close I pull his shirt up higher and move my wrist as fast as I can go.  
A moan escapes his lips as he grips the sheets on the bed and spills out onto his stomach.  
I lean down and kiss him before pulling my pants on and finding a bathroom. I come back with a roll of toilet paper and he cleans himself up in silence.  
Once he has put himself back together again he turns and looks at me with a huge smile on his face.  
“Did I just get rewarded for not fucking you?” he asks making me laugh.  
“If that’s how you want to look at it then sure. But just so you know, I would have let you” I say back and his eyes go wide.  
“You don’t think I know that? I didn’t want it to be like that our first time though” he replies and pulls me to him.  
“But thanks for that either way” he says with a laugh.

Several days later I come home from class and throw my bag down on the couch before going into the kitchen for food when I hear sounds coming from Morgan’s room.  
“What the fuck?” I say out loud knowing exactly what I’m hearing. I walk down the hall and beat on the door loudly.  
“Morgan What the fuck!” I yell out but no response.  
I go and sit on the couch and wait for her and whoever it is to come out and when she finally appears I instantly start my attack.  
“What the hell are you doing? That’s not fucking right Mo!” I say knowing how much this shit will hurt Dylan.  
“Are you done?” she says as she smiles at me from the doorway. Before I can say anything else Dylan pops his head up behind her.  
“Sorry about that” he says looking embarrassed.  
“Oh shit” I say causing them both to laugh.  
“Shouldn’t you be at school?” I ask as Dylan sits in the chair near me putting his shoes on.  
“Shouldn’t you be fucking my friend by now?” he says and his own words make his eyes go wide.  
“Sorry about that to” he says as Morgan dies out in hysterical laughter.  
“Touche” I respond not having any other comeback to that one.  
“I’ve been telling her the same thing. Trust me” Morgan says before joining me on the couch.  
“15 days guys. 15 mother fucking days” I say as I pop my fingers anxiously.  
“Does that even really matter anymore?” Dylan says with a raised eyebrow like he knows something.  
“I knew that fucker couldn’t keep his mouth shut!” I reply.  
“Well duh. He is my best friend” Dylan responds as he sits back in the chair making himself comfortable.  
“Dylan you cannot tell him where we live right now. I’m begging you. I’ll never be able to get rid of him if you do” I plead with him.  
“Get rid of him?” he asks turning his head at me.  
“Oh not like that! Just for the next 2 weeks. After that he can be over here anytime he wants to. I may never let him leave honestly” I laugh out.  
“Well it wouldn’t be considered kidnapping” Dylan replies with a smile.  
“OOhh you are on a role today” Morgan says while reaching over to high five him.  
“How long do you have before it’s not considered statutory rape anymore? Like 6 months?” I ask looking at Morgan.  
“Ooooff” Dylan responds, bending over like he got punched in the stomach.  
“And on that note, Dylan let me take you back to your car before it’s the only one left in the parking lot” Morgan says and they leave together while I jump up and sign on the computer.

RebDomine: Imagine this. I came straight home excited to talk to you and you were nowhere to be found.  
Y/n: I’m sorry! Was talking to Mo and got distracted.  
RebDomine: Was my extra tall friend there today by chance? He was in first period and then dipped out but his car was still in it’s spot so the only logical explanation is that he was with Morgan.  
Y/n: fuck.  
RebDomine: So Dylan can come over but not me?  
Y/n: That was not my choice and you know it  
Y/n: Don’t be mad at me.  
RebDomine: Oh I’m not mad. But I will know where you live within the hour.

And just like that he was gone and I was left panicking slightly at first but then I couldn’t make myself stop smiling.  
I got back online several times throughout the evening but he was never there. I imagine he was trying to con Dylan into spilling it. And I imagine Dylan will eventually break and tell him. But by 10 that night I decided that I was in the clear for the day and showered and went to bed.

I wake up and it’s pitch black in my room. Can’t even see my hand in front of my face. But I know I’m not alone.  
“Hello?” I call out sleepily and when no one answers I start to get scared.  
I lay completely still for several minutes before I feel the bed dip down behind me and I feel arms come around me.  
“Told you” Eric says into my ear and I jerk away from him from being scared half to death. I lean up and cut my lamp on and see him smiling like crazy beside me in my bed.  
“How the fuck? What time is it?” I ask.  
“After 1” he says with a smirk.  
“I’m gonna kill him” I growl out.  
“Go ahead. He’s in the room next door” he replies still smirking at me.  
“How did you get in?” I ask as he moves closer to me.  
“Morgan unlocked the door for us. Said something about you needing to get laid” he laughs out and I punch him in the leg.  
“Your mom is going to freak Eric!” I say when it hits me.  
“Nahh I sneak out all the time. She won’t ever know I was gone as long as I’m back before time to get up for school” he says nonchalantly.  
“Where the fuck do you go when you sneak out?” I ask still freaking out about all this.  
“Nowhere for you to be worried about” he says catching me off guard.  
“You should clarify before I rip your throat out” I shoot back.  
“Baby, You are the only one for me if that isn’t obvious already” he says with a laugh as I glare at him.  
“It’s Friday” he says changing the subject.  
“And?” I reply.  
“Damnit you are a grouchy ass when you get woke up” he laughs out and his hand comes up tucking my hair behind my ear.  
“And, That means it’s 2 weeks until my birthday” he says grinning at me.  
“I’m aware” I snap back.  
“Jesus Y/n I can leave if you don’t want me here that bad” he says looking hurt.  
“No, I’m sorry. It’s the middle of the night babe. And I didn’t want you here so soon” I respond trying to calm my tone.  
“But why?” he asks as he scoots back away from me.  
“Because I’m tired of saying no” I reply honestly.  
“Then stop saying no” he says as the smile comes back on his face and he lays down beside me pulling me down with him.  
“I have to Eric” I say back.  
“I think we have already crossed that line baby. We might as well bring it on home and move on” he says and his laugh vibrates the bed.  
“It’s the principle of it now. Self control and all” I reply as his mouth attacks my neck.  
“Eric..” I breathe out as his hand goes down to rest on my lower stomach.  
“Let go of the fucking control baby” he says into my ear making my blood heat.  
“I’m starting to feel like this is all you want from me and I have actual feelings for you” I blurt out.  
“Woooah wait” he says as he moves his hand away from me and scoots back.  
“It had to be said” I reply.  
“Are you serious? I told you I love you forever ago” he says with a worried look on his face.  
“I’m serious. If you think about it then you will see why. It’s all you ever talk about or want to do” I say as I pull the covers up around me.  
“Of fucking course it is. My fucking horomones are raging! I’ve wanted you to be mine since I was 15 Y/n. Don’t go there with me right now” he says looking pissed now.  
“Then prove it Eric” I respond looking over at him.  
“How do I do that?” he asks.  
“Go home. Don’t show up at my house like this again. Let’s talk like we used to and leave it at that for the next two weeks. If you can go the whole time without trying to get me to fuck you then that’s a hell of a start” I say.  
“That’s really fucked up baby. This is all fucked up. I had no idea you felt this way. I just thought it was our thing” He says as he stands up off my bed.  
“I didn’t really know I felt this way either until right now. But I can’t keep falling for you more and more if this is all you want from me” I reply trying not to cry.  
“I promise you that’s not all I want. I want to be with you every second of every day even if I never touch you again baby” he says with his hands in his pockets looking completely devastated.  
“I’m sorry Eric” I reply not knowing what else to say.  
“I’ll talk to you later” he says and disappears from my room.

Minutes later Morgan comes in and sits on the edge of my bed.  
“First fight?” she asks looking over at me.  
“I don’t fucking know Mo. I don’t know what to do here” I say back.  
“Dylan feels like it’s his fault. We could hear you guys” she says while trying to give me a compassionate smile.  
“I’m sorry” I reply as the tears finally emerge.  
“Don’t do that. You are just tired. You know how you are when you get woke up. Poor guy didn’t see it coming” she says trying to make me laugh.  
“That’s not it. I don’t want to be a play thing” I reply while shaking my head at her.  
“Anybody who sees you two knows how he feels about you y/n. He never takes his eyes off of you. I hope you realize that to” she says before squeezing my knee and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

The next day when I got out of class I headed home as usual feeling like a complete asshole for everything that happened. Mo was probably right and I’m just overthinking everything. When I get a few feet from my door I see something sitting in front of it and I walk faster to see what it is.  
When I get to it I see a huge bouquet of spring flowers with a note attached.

:::I love you Y/n. I don’t care if I have to wait 2 more years on you I will do it:::

I carry the flowers inside grinning like a person gone mad and I sit them on the kitchen counter and run my fingers over the petals. Nobody has ever sent me flowers before.  
I grab the phone book and look up the number and dial it quickly hoping that my plan works.  
When the lady answers I give my speech I had prepared in my head.  
“Yes I need to get a message to my son and it’s urgent. Could you please have him call this number back?” I give the lady my number and wait impatiently by the phone.  
When it finally rings and I say hello I can hear the smile in his voice.  
“Ohh, hi mom. What’s up?” he says like he is trying not to laugh.  
“I love you Killer” I laugh out into the phone.  
“I love you to ba-ugghhh mom” he says and I can hear the panic in his voice.  
“Sign on when you get home” I laugh out.  
“Absolutely” he says back before he hangs up.

I decide to lay down in my bed and nap for a while since Eric still has at least 2 hours before he will be home. I’m startled awake when my phone rings.

“Hello?” I answer groggily.  
“Baaaby, I just wanted to hear your voice” Eric says on the other end.  
“I’m sure it sounds like shit because I just woke up” I say with a laugh.  
“It sounds like angels singing” he says causing me to snort.  
“That was cheesy as fuck” I reply as I sit up and stretch.  
“I kinda also wanted you to hear me call you baby since the last thing you heard me call you was mom” he says with a serious voice making me die out laughing.  
“And I had an idea. Feel free to say no” he adds.  
“What might this idea be?” I ask genuinely curious.  
“I was thinking that I could take you to dinner. And before you say no I have it all planned out. You can drive and meet me there and we will leave separately” he says sounding so sure of himself that I can’t say no.  
“Okay” I say smiling into the phone.  
“Then where would my girl like to eat?” he asks.  
“Taco bell and don’t laugh at me” I reply.  
“She’s beautiful and a cheap date. How did I get so lucky?” he says back.  
“Meet me in a hour?” I ask and I’m already headed down the hallway to my room to dig out something to wear.  
“I’ll be the one sitting in his car blaring angry music. Ya know, in case you forgot what I look like” he says causing me to laugh again.  
“Shut up. I’ll see you soon” I say before I hang up. He could probably talk me into almost anything I think.


	7. Role Reversal

When I pulled into the parking lot I spotted his car and parked right next to it. Before I even had my car stopped good Eric was out of his car and opening my door for me.  
“Hey gorgeous” he says, shooting me his amazing smile.  
“Hey guy who could talk me into just about anything” I reply as he closes the car door behind me.  
“That may be my favorite nickname yet, even if it’s so not true” he says while reaching down to hold my hand.  
“I’m here aren’t I?” I reply with a smile as we enter the building.  
After we ordered our food and fixed our drinks we found a table by the window and ate without saying much else.  
Once we were finished Eric threw all of our trash away and came to sit back down with me.  
“What do you want to do on your birthday?” I ask, genuinely interested but also needing to get some kind of conversation going.  
“Is that a trick question?” he asks looking at me weirdly.  
“Huh?” I ask back confused by his response.  
“You just asked me what I want to do on my birthday Y/n. What the fuck do you think I want to do? I thought I wasn’t allowed to talk about that” he says clarifying it for me and causing me to cover my face with my hands.  
“Oh fuck” I laugh out.  
“Exactly” he responds and when I move my hands and look at him I can’t read his face at all.  
“Am I in trouble right now or what?” he asks and I start to feel even worse about letting all of my insecurities loose on him.  
“No babe, That was my fault for sure” I reply while reaching across the table to take his hand in mine.  
“I meant, are you going to do some kind of party or go somewhere or what?” I add explaining myself.  
“I haven’t really thought about it honestly. Can we change the subject? I feel like I’m gonna fuck this up any second” he says licking his lips nervously.  
“Eric you haven’t done anything wrong. This is all me. I get inside my own head sometimes and think the worst. I’m sorry I said the things that I said. I’m also sorry that I have been putting you through all this shit. We love each other and that should be all that matters. Fuck what anybody else has to say” I reply with every bit of honesty I can gather.  
“So are you saying.. what the fuck are you saying?” he asks with wide eyes.  
“You heard me babe” I reply with a smile.  
“Shit Y/n. Now we can’t though” he says as he lets my hand go and stands up pushing his chair up.  
“What? Why not?” with me now the one confused.  
He doesn’t say anything as we walk back to our cars and I feel like my heart is going to come up through my throat at any second.  
He stops beside my driver door and opens it for me but instead of getting in I walk right in front of him and look up into his eyes.  
“Why Eric?” I ask on the verge of losing my shit.  
“Because baby, then I won’t have anything to do on my birthday” he says as I watch the smirk appear on his lips.  
“Eric you scared the fucking life out of me!” I yell out while slapping his arm.  
“Oh because I would break up with you 4 seconds after you agree to have sex with me? Yeah okay” he says as he grabs my waist and pulls me to him.  
“Break up with me? You never asked me to be your girlfriend to begin with so..” I reply teasing him.  
“Well I’ve told everyone I know that you are my girlfriend so it’s a little late to go back and say oohh nevermind” he says with a laugh.  
“I guess if that’s the case then it’s okay” I reply.  
“Are you seeing someone else? I sure as shit am not” he says with squinted eyes.  
“Of course not babe” I reply while squeezing my arms around him and laying my head on his shoulder.  
“Then I’m pretty sure you are my girlfriend” he laughs out while squeezing me back.  
We parted ways after a quick good night kiss and I floated home on cloud 9. 

The next evening Morgan let me know that her and Dylan had a date that night and that he would be spending the night so I thought that the only logical thing to do was to invite Eric to come hang out to.  
All it took was for the words to come out of my mouth over the phone and he was at my apartment within the hour.  
When he knocked on the door and I opened he came walking right in with his hands full of bags.  
“I brought us all kinds of shit to do!” he says excitedly as he walks into my living room.  
“This bag is full of movies I stopped and rented. Wasn’t sure what your taste is so I just grabbed a few new ones, This bag has my most prized possession” he says as he places it down gently on the coffee table.  
“Which is?” I ask amused by how excited he seems.  
“My CD case of course” he says with a smirk.  
“So music and movies huh?” I ask as I walk to sit down on the couch.  
“Yep. A good wholesome night” he says with a serious face.  
“Ahh wholesome, okay. What movies did you get?” I ask as I pick up the bag and dump them out.  
“Carrie:The Rage, Cruel Intentions, and the new Wishmaster” he calls them off as I pull them out.  
“Yes to all 3 of those. But I’ve been dying to see this one” I say, holding up Cruel intentions.  
“Also, I’m not sure any of these are going to be very wholesome Eric” I laugh out as he stands looking at me from the other side of the room.  
“I could have brought porn” he says like he is trying to shock me.  
“You could have” I respond leaving him the one shocked.  
No! You stop that” he says shaking his finger at me.  
“I’m just playing the game with you” I respond with a laugh.  
“Oh god then we are for sure losing whatever game it is if you are on my team” he laughs back and I grab a pillow off the couch and throw it at him.  
“I will take you down woman!” he yells out before jumping on top of me on the couch and attacking my ribs, tickling me until I feel like I’m going to pee on myself.  
“Okay Okay! You win!” I squeal out and as soon as he lets me go I run to the bathroom.  
When I come back out he is at Morgan’s big ass CD player flipping through his case.  
“I always win baby” he says without looking at me.  
“Ha! Alright” I respond and he acts like he is going to come back at me so I throw myself back on the couch cowering away.  
“That’s what I thought” he laughs out as he finally pulls out a CD and puts it in.  
We sat for a while with him playing me different songs and even having to translate some of them for me to understand any of it.  
“So what the hell do you listen to that’s so much better than my music?” he asks when he sees that I’m just not that into it.  
“Oh fuck yes, my turn. Let me educate you” I say as I jump up and run to my room grabbing my own CD case and pulling out the perfect one to break him in.  
“Listen to the words and not the music” I tell him as the song starts to play.

:::Lay beside me and tell me what they’ve done, Speak the words I want to hear to make my demons run, The door is locked now but it’s open if you’re true, If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you  
What I’ve felt what I’ve known, Turn the pages turn the stone, Behind the door should I open it for you, What I’ve felt what I’ve known, so sick and tired I stand alone, Could you be there cause I’m the one that waits for you, Or are you Unforgiven Too?:::

“Oh damn, That’s Metallica right?” he asks with wide yes.  
“That is indeed Metallica, Want another?” I ask with a smile and he nods his head.

:::Tell me can you heal what father’s done, Or fix this hole in a mother’s son, Can you heal the broken worlds within, Can you strip away so we may start again?  
Tell me can you heal what father’s done, Or cut this rope and let us run? Just when all seems fine and I’m pain free jab another pin, jab another pin in me:::

“What album is this?” he asks as he shifts on the couch.  
“Reload man. One of the most underated. People call them sell outs for this shit. But the lyrics to most of the songs on this album are fucking epic” I reply.  
“I see that, Can I borrow it?” he asks.  
“Of course you can borrow it” I reply and I walk to the CD player and take it out handing it to him.  
“I love you Y/n”’ he says as he grabs my wrist still holding the CD and pulls me down into his lap.  
“I love you to babe” I say with a smile as I lean up and kiss him on the cheek.  
“Wanna watch a movie?” I ask while pulling myself back up.  
“We can” he says not taking his eyes off of me.  
“Well start it. I’m gonna pop some popcorn” I reply as I walk into the kitchen.

We were piled up together watching Cruel intentions and everything seemed to be going okay until it hit a rather steamy scene and Eric reached up grabbing the remote and hitting pause.  
“I need to do some jumping jacks or something” he says with as serious face making me laugh.  
The front door opened and Mo and Dylan walked in and both looked shocked to see Eric standing in the middle of the living room.  
“What’s up?” Dylan says with a huge smile.  
“Just watching a movie” I say back motioning to the tv.  
“What movie?” Mo asks while making herself comfortable in the chair.  
“A softcore porn” Eric responds making me laugh.  
“We were doing so good Y/n. Can we watching something else?” He asks looking highly uncomfortable.  
“Hey you are the one with the rules now. Not me” I reply shrugging my shoulders at him.  
“I feel so left out of whatever is going on” Morgan says leaning towards Dylan.  
“Eric has decided that even though I don’t care anymore, he wants to wait until his birthday still. So here we are. He was about to do jumping jacks I think” I respond before throwing a handful of popcorn in my mouth.  
“Oh this is fun” Morgan replies while staring at Eric who now looks so awkward standing in the middle of the living room with his hands on his hips.  
“Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse” he says shaking his head.  
“Well not to add fuel to the fire but we are going to my room. Do not disturb” Morgan says as she stands and grabs Dylan’s hand and pulls him down the hall.  
“And now we need headphones” I say smiling over at my miserable boyfriend.  
“Do you have some?” he asks with a serious look making me laugh again.  
“Maybe I should go home” he replies making me abruptly stop laughing.  
“No way! We have had a fun night. You know we have. I wanted you to cuddle me” I whine at him.  
“That was the plan the whole time. I just feel weird about it now. I’m telling you no. What the fuck is happening to me” he says while shaking his head.  
“Bring the Cd and we will cut it up in my room and lay down and listen to it together. We can go right back to how we were before two people suggestively screwing on the movie turned you into a weirdo” I respond while standing up and taking the popcorn bowl to the kitchen.  
“Don’t take your pants off. Okay?” he asks looking so serious that I can’t help but laugh again.


	8. In The End It doesn't Even Matter

April 8th !999  
9:40 pm

RebDomine: I wish I could just skip tomorrow. It should be against the law to have to go to school on your birthday. Especially your 18th birthday.  
Y/n: I know babe. But we get to be together tomorrow night (:  
RebDomine: I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.  
RebDomine: I’m coming to you as soon as I do the birthday dinner bullshit with my parents.  
Y/n: I’ll be waiting <3

Little does he know that I have very different plans in mind. I recruited Morgan to help out of course.  
I can’t wait to finally be in a real relationship with him after all this time of waiting. Our future together is going to be absolutely amazing.  
I fell asleep that night not able to wipe the smile off of my face.

April 9th 1999

I was of course ready to go hours before we needed to leave. My nerves were all over the place with no real reason for it. By 2:30 in the afternoon I had paced the living room so many times that I swear you could see the trail in the carpet.  
“Alright woman let’s go! I can’t sit here and watch you walk back and forth anymore” Morgan says with a laugh as she leads the way to the door.  
When she pulled her car up right behind Eric’s in the Senior parking lot I jumped out quickly with only minutes to spare before the bell rang.  
“Thanks Mo! I’ll see you later” I called out as I hopped up onto the trunk of his car to wait for him.  
It seemed like it took forever for the bell to ring when in reality it was only a couple minutes.  
I waited impatiently staring at the door he would come out of and when I finally saw him emerge I felt my blood start to rush through my body.  
He walked my way wearing a white t-shirt with a black and white button up shirt left open over it. His black BDU pants and boots, backwards black hat on his head, and his backpack slung over his shoulder.  
He hadn’t seen me yet because he seemed to be staring at the ground with a serious look on his face as he walked my way. As he got closer he finally lifted his eyes and saw me sitting on the trunk and the look on his face changed within a millisecond. He grinned from ear to ear and almost ran my way.  
As soon as he got within a few feet of me I jumped down and met him in a huge hug.  
“Baaaby” he said out into my ear.  
“Surprise! Happy birthday babe!” I replied as I smiled into his neck.  
“It is now. How did you get here?” he says as he pulls away so he can see my face.  
“Morgan dropped me off. I didn’t want to wait until tonight to tell you happy birthday to your face. I’ve kinda had it planned for days” I reply as I look into his gorgeous eyes.  
“I have to go eat with my parents though” He says with a raised brow.  
“As do I” I respond shrugging my shoulders.  
“Your sneaky. I’m rubbing off on you” He says pulling me back into him.  
“You don’t have to rub yourself off anymore Eric” I say trying to sound serious and he bursts into a fit of laughter.  
“That was a good one baby” He laughs out.  
“So dinner with me and the parents on my 18th birthday huh? You know they know” he says as he opens my car door for me.  
“Thanks for pointing that out for me. I wasn’t already freaking out about it or anything, Jerk” I respond as I get inside his car.  
“This should be interesting then” he laughs out while getting into his own seat and starting the car.

“Mom I’m home” Eric yells out as he hangs his backpack on the hook beside the door.  
She pops her head out of the kitchen and grins at us before going back to what she was doing.  
“Hey Mrs. Harris. Thanks for having me” I say once we are inside the kitchen with her.  
“Of course honey” She says with a smile while she continues cooking dinner.  
“You two better stop plotting against me” Eric says as he watches our exchange.  
“It was supposed to be a surprise” I reply while rolling my eyes at him.  
“It will be an hour or so until dinner. I will call down when it’s done” his mother says, dismissing us from the kitchen.  
Eric reaches over and grabs my hand and leads me down the stairs into his room.  
“Well this isn’t torture or anything. I wasn’t expecting to have to look at you for the next few hours without touching you” he says with a smile once we are inside his room.  
“I can leave” I reply trying to hide my smile.  
“No you can’t. I drove you here” he laughs out while pulling me down onto his bed with him.  
“Good point” I laugh back as he wraps his arms around me and I bury my face in his neck.  
I cant stop myself from planting a few kisses on his neck and collar bone as we lay so close together.  
“Don’t start something you can’t finish right now woman” he says with a serious tone to his voice letting me know that my innocent kisses are having quite the opposite effect on him.  
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop” I say into his ear causing him to growl out at me.  
“Too late” he replies as he rolls onto his back pulling me on top of him.  
“Eric, dinner will be even more awkward if they hear us screwing before hand” I laugh out while looking down at him.  
“Yeah that’s not happening here. But it will also be awkward when I walk up the stairs with a massive hard on” he laughs back.  
“Then think about unsexy things” I reply while trying to get off of him but he keeps holding me down.  
“That’s not gonna work for me right now” he groans out while his hands grip my waist.  
“Then what would you like me to do for you?” I ask not expecting the answer he is going to give.  
“Lock my door and help me out” he says without a single hint of shame.  
I think about it for a second before I pull myself off his bed and lock the door before sitting next to him.  
“Now what?” I ask in anticipation of what he has in mind.  
“You decide the rest. I didn’t think you were gonna go for that so I’m kind of in shock right now” he replies with wide eyes.  
I scoot off the edge of the bed and rest between his knees with one hand on each of his thighs.  
“So much yes” he says nodding his head down at me.  
“Lay back babe” I reply, and he immediately obeys laying his arm over his eyes.  
I push his shirt up and rub him through his pants causing him to go stiff instantly.  
I slowly undo his belt and pants before I pull him out and start to stroke him slowly.  
“Fuck” he breathes out causing me to shush him.  
“Yeah yeah” he responds with his arm still over his face.  
I lower my head and lick his tip lightly and he sucks his stomach in holding his breath.  
I let my tongue run slowly over the tip teasing him for several minutes until his hips start to buck up towards me.  
“I can’t handle much more of that baby” he hisses out and drops his arm off of his eyes leaning up on his elbows.  
I lower my mouth onto him taking him all the way in as far as I can, holding him in the back of my throat without moving.  
“Y/n” he moans out as his hand comes down to rest on the back of my head.  
I repeat the action several times slowly before I start to pick up speed and create suction with my cheeks.  
“Fuck baby” he moans out as he grabs a fistful of my hair holding onto me.  
I wrap my hand around him and start to pump as my mouth continues to work him at the same time causing him to pant out.  
“I’m gonna cum baby” he says slightly above a whisper and when his body starts to tighten I hold my mouth down over him as he spills out into my throat.  
“Oh my god” he pants out when I pull away from him and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.  
“Feel better?” I ask looking up at him still kneeling on the floor.  
“I don’t know how to describe how I feel right now” he replies while redoing his pants and belt.  
“Happy birthday” I say up at him with a smile.  
“The happiest” he laughs out just as his mother calls down the stairs that dinner is ready.

We made it through the meal without too much weirdness from anyone. I helped his mother clean up the table and the kitchen while Eric showered and when he returned, we were sitting at the table together having a conversation about my future plans.  
“You ready?” Eric asks coming to stand behind the chair I’m sitting in.  
“Sure” I reply standing up and pushing my chair in.  
“What time will you be home Eric?” his mother asks as she watches us.  
“Uhh I probably won’t be. Possibly until Sunday” he says back cutting his eyes my way for a split second.  
“Oh” she responds with wide eyes making my face go hot.  
“Can we please not make this weird” he says back to her while looking at the floor.  
“Be safe” is all she says back before he grabs my arm and pulls me out the front door.  
“And to think we almost made it out without any weirdness” I laugh out once we are inside his car.  
“Almost. Could have been worse” he says back before leaning over and kissing me on the lips.  
“Go to my apartment Eric” I say when he pulls back.  
“Best words you have ever said to me” he laughs out before starting his car and pulling out of his driveway.

When we walk inside my apartment I throw my bag down on the counter and pull him with me into my room.  
“Where’s Morgan?” he asks looking around nervously.  
“With Dylan” I reply while shutting my bedroom door behind us.  
“They won’t be here for a long time. She promised” I add as I walk over and sit down on my bed and pull my shoes off.  
“So this is really happening huh?” he asks looking even more nervous than before.  
“Unless you back out I guess” I reply while scooting myself back onto my bed.  
“That’s not gonna happen” he responds still standing by my door.  
“Then come here Babe” I say patting the bed beside me.  
He kicks his shoes off and sits down beside me on the bed before glancing over at me nervously.  
“I don’t know what to do right now” he laughs out while shaking his head.  
“You knew what to do to instigate it every other time Eric” I laugh with him.  
“You know damn well this is different” he says back not laughing anymore.  
I stand up on the side of the bed and pull my jeans down and step out of them before pulling my shirt over my head.  
“Holy shit” he says with wide eyes as he stares at me.  
I get back on the bed but instead of sitting beside him I put one knee on each side, straddling him and his hands instantly go to my hips.  
“I probably won’t last long Y/n” he says looking worried as he grips onto my hips.  
Instead of responding I move on top of him grinding myself on his hardness.  
“We have all the time in the word now babe” I whisper into his ear.  
“Yeah, all the time” he says back with a weird tone, but I dismiss it as him still being nervous.  
I reach between us and undo his belt and pants and lift up slightly so he can kick them into the floor.  
Once he is back settled beneath me I reach over to the table beside my bed and pull out a condom and hand it to him.  
He gets it on without any trouble and then looks up at me with puppy dog eyes.  
“We can stop” I say causing him to shake his head snapping out of it.  
“No, I want this so fucking much” he responds with dark eyes.  
I line myself up and lower down slowly onto him as I watch his face. He bites his bottom lip as his fingers dig into my thighs harder.  
Once I’m all the way down I stay still giving us both time to adjust to the feeling before I start to rock my hips on him.  
His mouth falls open but no sound comes out as I pick up speed slightly and wrap my arms around his neck.  
I try to fight off my own pleasure knowing that this is bound to be over before I can reach that point and he grabs onto my waist holding me still and clenching his jaw tightly.  
“Don’t move Y/n” he says through closed teeth.  
I hold myself still not sure what he has going on at the moment, but it’s obvious that he didn’t finish.  
After several minutes of silence, he exhales sharply and flips us over coming down on top of me.  
“Oh yeah?” I ask smiling up at him.  
“Mhmm” he replies as he enters me again and starts to set his pace.  
Once he gets comfortable with it he starts to get a little rougher causing me to moan out loudly.  
“Oh fuck” I let out as I dig my fingers into his back holding him into me.  
“Eric, Don’t stop” I moan out as I feel my release building and I buck my hips up at him trying to get there faster.  
“I can’t hold it off anymore baby” he groans out as his thrusts get sloppy but I’m too far gone to even notice as I fall over the edge and my body starts to shake and he goes still with his face buried in my neck as he finishes to.  
I lay still with him on top of me for a few minutes as we both recover from it all. When he finally rolls off of me I turn over onto my side and run my hand through his hair.  
“Was it worth the wait?” I ask causing him to laugh.  
“Absofuckinglutely” he laughs out before reaching into the floor and grabbing his pants and pulling them on.   
As I get dressed he watches me with a huge smile on his face.  
“So what now birthday boy?” I ask smiling back at him.  
“I didn’t have any other plans” he responds making me laugh as I open my bedroom door and hear clapping and yelling.  
“What the fuck?” I say as I turn the corner and see Morgan and Dylan on the couch being assholes.  
“Eric is finally a man” Dylan laughs out as Eric walks out of the room and straight into the bathroom.  
“You are not supposed to be here” I say to Morgan and try not to laugh.  
“I honestly thought you guys would be done by now. And There’s a party. Thought you may want to join us” She says back shrugging her shoulders.  
“I’m down” Eric says as he joins us in the living room with a very red face.  
“Let’s go then” Dylan says before standing up and we all ride together in his black car to the high school party.

We spent the rest of the weekend together going back and forth between sleeping and sex. Eric got a little more comfortable with it every time and by Sunday afternoon he had become familiar with every inch of my body and knew just how to get me where I needed to be.  
The following weekend was prom at the high school and both boys opted out of going. Instead we rented movies and got alcohol and shacked up at the apartment.  
Eric seemed a lot more distant than normal but swore that nothing was wrong every time I asked.  
Around 2am that Saturday we were laying in my bed together and he looked over at me weirdly.  
“What’s wrong?” I ask looking back at him.  
“Stop asking me that Y/n. Nothing is wrong” he replies with a very obvious fake smile.  
“Then why are you looking at me like that?” I ask trying to read his face.  
“Because I don’t want to hurt you” he says before rubbing his hand over his face.  
“Why would you hurt me?” I ask feeling slight panic at where this is going.  
“I don’t really have a choice Y/n. I do love you. Please know that” he says not looking away from me.  
“What is happening right now?” I ask as the panic turns into full blown fear.  
He continues staring at me for several minutes before he sits up on the side of the bed and pulls his shoes on.  
“Eric where are you going?” I ask as I watch him in utter shock.  
He turns his head back to look at me and then leans up and kisses my cheek lightly before walking to the door.  
“No fucking way” I yell out as I jump up and grab onto the back of his shirt.  
“Don’t do this Y/n” he says shaking his head and trying to pull away from me.  
“What did I do wrong here?” I yell out in agony as the tears start to pour down my face.  
He lets his head hang as he stands in front of my door refusing to respond to me.  
“Eric please!” I scream out as my bedroom door opens and I see Morgan standing on the other side.  
“What’s going on?” she asks looking confused.  
“I don’t fucking know! He is leaving me!” I cry out as I finally let go of his shirt and wrap my arms around myself.  
“What!?” Morgan says tilting her head at Eric but instead of responding he pushes past her and walks into the hall.  
“V!” he calls out and Dylan emerges from Morgan’s room also fully dressed. He shoots Morgan a weird look before he follows Eric down the hallway and towards the front door.  
“Hold the fuck up!” Morgan yells out behind them before following them.  
“What is happening right now?” She says as she spins Dylan around but he refuses to make eye contact with her.  
“Oh hell no, We don’t play this game. You better answer me right fucking now!” she yells out as she reaches up and grabs his chin forcing him to look at her.  
“Gotta go” he says before bending down and kissing her on the top of the head and walking out of the door behind Eric.  
I stand frozen in place for a minute before I take off running into the parking lot right as Eric is closing his car door and I jerk it back open before he can.  
“Please talk to me” I beg as he cuts his eyes Dylan’s way.  
“Babe please” I plead with him and he finally looks at me.  
“Y/n just listen to me. I need you to go back inside and carry on like non of this ever happened okay?” he says nonchalantly like it’s all normal.  
“What are you talking about Eric? I don’t understand what’s going on” I cry out as he looks at me with a blank expression.  
“I said I loved you and I meant it” he replies before forcing his door closed and pulling away.

He wasn’t online the whole next day. When I tried to call there was either no answer or his mom would tell me he wasn’t feeling good.  
By Monday afternoon I had cried so much that my face was swollen and I couldn’t even feel emotions anymore.  
Morgan seemed mostly unbothered by it all on the outside but I could tell she was mentally freaking out.  
By Monday evening I couldn’t take it anymore and I drove to his house.  
I knocked on the door and his mother greeted me sweetly as she told me that Eric had gone to Dylan’s house.  
So I got back in my car and drove to the other side of town. I parked my car in Dylan’s driveway and made my way up to knock on the door.  
Dylan’s mom opened the door and yelled up the stairs that I was there. Both boys appeared at the top of the stairs and stood looking back and forth between each other and myself before Dylan finally came down the stairs and practically pushed me back out the door and onto the porch closing the door behind him.  
“I need to talk to him Dylan” I plead with him.  
“That’s not happening. You need to go” he says back pointing towards my car.  
“Dylan please! Tell me what is going on!” I cry out causing him to cover my mouth with his hand.  
“You’ve got to stop all that yelling Y/n” he says and as I struggle to get his hand off my mouth the door opens.  
“Let her go Dylan” Eric says from behind him.  
“She won’t stop screaming man. She’s gonna fuck everything up” Dylan says back not moving his hand from my mouth.  
“God damnit. This is fucking awful” Eric replies while running his hand through his hair causing Dylan to drop his hand from my mouth.  
“The fuck did you just say?” He says as he turns towards Eric towering over him.  
“You know you feel the same way” Eric responds taking a step closer to his friend.  
“Someone please tell me what is going on!” I cry out once again causing both sets of eyes to shoot towards me.  
“If you open your mouth I swear I will fucking kill her right here” Dylan shoots out towards Eric.  
“Kill me?” I say as I take a step away from them and back off the porch.  
“Don’t say that shit Dylan” Eric responds as he comes after me and I turn and run to my car.  
“Y/n don’t do that. He won’t hurt you he was fucking around with me” Eric says as he grabs my arm roughly trying to pull me to him.  
“Let go of me! Eric that hurts” I cry out as I try to break free from his grip.  
“You said you wanted to talk to me. Here’s your chance. Talk” he says not loosening his grip even the slightest.  
“You are scaring me Eric!” I yell out.  
“Maybe it’s best if you are scared baby” he says as he finally lets go and I quickly get in my car.  
“Something is fucking wrong with you. How could you do this to me?” I cry out as I slam the car door and floor it out of the driveway.

When I make it back to the apartment I fill Morgan in on everything as she listens in shock.  
“Dylan said he would kill you? My Dylan?” she asks with wide eyes.  
“I don’t know what is going on but it’s not good. Why would Eric try so hard to be with me only to end it as soon as it starts? I’m so worried Mo” I cry out as she wraps her arms around me.  
“I don’t know either but I decided to leave Dylan alone. They will come around eventually” she says trying to calm me.

April 20th 1999  
The next morning I force myself out of bed and take a hot shower trying to pull myself out of it all before I have to go to class.  
When I get out to my car I find a note under my windshield wiper and I open it and recognize Eric’s writing instantly.  
:::I’m so thankful that I got the chance to feel your love in this lifetime. Hopefully we can find each other in the next. You couldn’t have done anything to stop this so please don’t think you could have. Know that you will be the last thing I see in my mind. I love you Y/n:::  
“What the hell is he talking about?” I say out loud to myself as I re read the note over and over.  
I decide that I will try to call him when he gets home from school just one more time.  
When my first class ended at 11:10 I went to sit in my car until my next class starts at 11:55. I pulled out my notebook and wrote Eric a note to stick in his windshield wiper so he would find it after school. I have enough time to drop it off before class starts so I quickly start my car and head towards the school.  
As I pull onto the road beside the school I immediately see police cars, fire trucks, ambulances.   
“Holy shit” I say out loud as I slow down and try to see what else is happening.  
I can see students running away from the building and into a nearby field. As I get closer to the entrance I am stopped by a officer telling me that no one is allowed any closer to the building.  
“What’s happening?” I ask as he leans into my window.  
“Someone is shooting inside of the school. I need you to get off of the property immediately” he responds before motioning for me to leave.  
“My boyfriend and my brother are in there!” I yell out as the fear washes over me.  
“We are telling everyone to go to the elementary school for updates. All the students will be bussed over there shortly” he says before walking away from my car.  
As I speed off towards the other school it’s as if time stands still. It’s Eric. Eric and Dylan. That’s what this was all about. My brain says it over and over again as I drive in a daze.  
When I pull up near the other school I grab my phone and call Morgan.  
“Mo it’s bad. I need you to meet me here” I yell into the phone before hanging up.  
I walk up to the front of the school and see hundreds of parents gathered around. Some are crying. Some are comforting others. Some just look lost.  
When I walk inside I see my parents and run to them.  
“Seth?” I cry out once I’m in my dad’s arms.  
“We haven’t heard anything honey” he says as he holds me.  
Morgan finally arrives and I pull her outside to fill her in on the note and what my gut is telling me.  
“You are crazy y/n. You are wrong. You will see when they get here” She says shaking her head at me.  
We all stood around waiting as bus after bus pulled up and families were reunited.  
My heart flopped around in my chest as a bus would leave and neither my brother nor Eric got off. We were informed that one last bus was headed our way and I held my moms hand waiting impatiently. When it finally pulled up Seth was the first one off and after he hugged my parents he turned to me with tears in his eyes and I knew.  
“No!” I cried out and fell to the ground as my brother wrapped his arms around me.  
“How could they do this” he cried with me.

When we were all back at my parents house my dad turned on the news and the first thing that popped up was a picture of Eric and Dylan side by side named as the shooters.  
I stared at the tv in shock as I watched the chaos unfold live and right in front of my eyes.  
No one said a word in the house as we all sat and watched. The only sound anyone could hear was my sobs everytime his picture or name came across the tv.  
“How could I not know?” I eventually cried out causing my mom to rush to me on the couch.

I tried to call his mother a few days after but the phone line was always busy. After several days I gave up. What else could I do?   
There was no funeral for him and we didn’t find out about Dylan’s until it had already happened. I felt like I should have been able to give answers. I should have seen some sort of sign but when I would try to think back on things there was nothing. How could everyone blame the parents. How could they say they should have known. I was there with him for over 2 years and I had no idea so they couldn’t have known either. The fault lies with two teenage boys who saw no way out other than the way they took.


End file.
